My "vacation" for the last few days has consisted of spending time with Kim's family out in California (somewhat near Irvine). As this is the longest amount of time I've spent in California, I have become increasingly perplexed with the traffic situation out here.

As we drove along one of the many five lane (relatively small I suppose) highways out here, I compared the situation to New Jersey. In Jersey, you have mostly three lane highways: 295, GSP, Turnpike, Route 1, etc. While the traffic on these roads is bad during rush hour, it is usually manageable during other times.

On the other hand, here you have friggin 7 lane highways with HOV dedicated lanes, and traffic is OBNOXIOUS at all hours. This is particularly odd to me, since NJ is much more densely populated than California. More people in a smaller area with fewer lanes of highways = less traffic? Fewer people in a larger area with more lanes on highways = more traffic? Evan confused.

Kim's sister said that for the last two years she has been trying to figure out why this is the case (she moved here from NJ). She thinks it is because people are out of their homes more often since the weather is nicer here. She also credits the more laid back attitude of Californians. However, I have a simpler theory. In short, people here cannot drive. They go 70 mph in the fast lane, they randomly cut across 5 lanes, and they just STOP for no real reason. Kim's theory is an offshoot of this - there are more Asians per capita here than Jersey, which strongly contributes to the poor driving of the population as a whole. That theory makes a lot of sense to me.

The "Californians suck at driving" theory is further strengthened by the fact that EVERY INTERSECTION has a left turn arrow traffic light. Seriously? You really need that arrow every time? We can't trust these people to figure out when its okay to make a left on their own? I guess whoever the traffic planners are realized that Californian drivers are like infants, in that they need their hands to be held at every possible decision point. I swear I saw a blinking traffic light for a merging lane into an interstate (and I know we did one of these in Nevada). All of these things make driving the shortest distances here take twice the time. I will never be able to live here merely because of the debacle that is the California traffic situation.

At least the Vietnamese food out here is very good. But that is tempered by the fact that we have to drive a half hour every time we want to go to Little Saigon to get it.

Hero or goat? What's it going to be Steve Smith? I need you to get 130 yards and a TD or 60 yards and 2 TDs. You're on national TV and the Giants are in a must-win game.

DO IT!

Its funny how nobody bad ever dies. Either bad people are immortal, or nobody is ever bad.

In case you haven't been paying attention, Chris Henry, the "troubled" Bengals wide receiver, passed away last today.

Chris Henry has had quite a history with the law. I'll just cite from Wikipedia:

In 2005, he was caught speeding with no license, no insurance, and marijuana. Okay, fine, not the end of the world. I'm sure more people than they like to admit could have been caught for that at some point in their lives. Well, subtract the "no insurance" part of that, but for the other two... actually, just the marijuana probably.

In early 2006, he was arrested on multiple gun charges, including assault with a firearm. "Assault" doesn't actually require any physical contact, so it was probably he pointed the gun at someone and threatened them. Again, that's probably something we can all sympathize with. People get in my way, I take out my gun and threaten them. Its like a reflex.

Later that year he was arrested for sexual assault. Turns out the accuser recanted and was charged with filing a false report. Yet he was hanging out with 18 year olds and getting them drunk. It probably wasn't rape. But when there is smoke, there is fire. Especially when someone has lit numerous fires before.

The next year, he was arrested two more times, both for alcohol violations. Then he was suspended two times by the NFL. THEN, he assaulted (again, remember "assault" doesn't require physical contact) a valet, and was arrested for violating his probation.

Finally, in 2008, he was arrested for allegedly punching an 18 year old college student and having thrown a beer bottle through the guy's car window.

So I get it. He's a good guy. Clearly! He's basically done what everyone else has done - multiple arrests ranging from sexual assault to assault with a firearm to punching a college student. Fair enough! Everyone makes mistakes.

So the story as it is right now as to how he died - his fiancee sped away from their home at 6 AM or so. She did so in a pickup truck. Henry, apparently chasing after her to give her the insulin she forgot in her hasty departure, jumped into the back of the pick-up. As she drove away (leaving tire marks in the yard), Henry began beating on the back of the truck with his broken arm (in a cast). He probably REALLY wanted her to remember to take her insulin! Anyway, he eventually fell out of the truck, hit his head, and died.

And now, we have all these stories from people about how he was turning his life around and how he was a great guy. Noone really knew him! Can't argue with that.

However, I didn't share a locker room with him, but I'm not blind. This was a guy who was called a "one man crime wave" by a judge. And he died chasing after his fiance as she SPED away at 6 in the morning. I'm sure there are multiple explanations that don't fault him for this. And the stories will probably come out as such, since again, bad people are immortal / don't exist. But I'm not sad.

Sometimes the universe works itself out.

Holy crap! There is a guy in the NFL whose last name is "Incognito"!!!!

Of course, we all hope that he names his son "Guy."

Well, thanks to Roy pointing this website out to me, my productivity is shot now for the rest of the day.

Midtown Lunch

Particular posts up my alley:

53rd and 6th Halal Guys Expand

99 Cent Pizza Analysis

Tad's Steaks

I burned my forearm while making the turkey for Thanksgiving - its not the first time I've done it, those pesky hot oven racks tend to get in my way. So I had a nice line of burnt skin on me. It sort of healed over the next couple days. I made a comment to Kim that I hoped it wouldn't scar too bad, and she told me to put some vitamin E on it. I said okay, and went to our closet with the medicine and other stuff in it.

I looked and looked.

Kim usually will refuse to help me find something in that closet. This, despite the fact that there are 3 shelves (not medicine cabinet shelves, real closet shelves) crammed to the brim with random creams, pills and liquids. This, despite the fact that she is the one who puts them in there. So I usually am forced to look for things, and then after I eventually give up and decide I don't really need the motrin / cough syrup that makes you feel awesome / zyrtec, only then will Kim show me where it was. Then she looks at me like I'm blind.



So here I was, looking for what I assumed was some sort of cream. I mean, what else am I going to look for? Maybe a liquid I rub into my burn? I didn't know. I just wanted something that had a label of vitamin E on it. Of course, I couldn't find it and gave up. Then Kim walked over, grabbed a bottle of gel caps and handed it to me. She also made a noise indicating that, once again, I'm blind.

I still didn't know what to do with it. Do I down a few of these with water and hope the infusion of vitamin E into my body helps?

No. "Obviously," I would puncture the gel cap and then let some ooze out into my burn. Yes, OBVIOUSLY. Clearly this is the only way it could have gone when I was told to go to the closet and put some vitamin E on it. I can't wait for the next time when I'm told to get something out of that closet, and what I'm really supposed to do is:

1) Grab some bottle of pills
2) Buy a mortar and pestle
3) Grind the pills into dust
4) Add water or possibly some other liquid located in another bottle in the closet
5) Mix the powder and liquid into a goo
6) Rub onto my skin only after sacrificing a small amphibian

I don't even think the vitamin E is helping that much.

It seems like whenever I blog about commercials, I talk about how stupid they are. Well, here are two sets of commercials that I thoroughly enjoy:



1) Sony Bravia commercials with Peyton Manning and Justin Timberlake (and others)

I think these have just the right amount of random. Erin Andrews? San Diego Chicken? Ping pong and both Manning and Timberlake speaking Chinese? Random small asian girl who has her whack a mole mallet stolen? They are all awesome. However, I think the indispensable factor is Manning. Manning is pretty clearly the most entertaining athlete endorser out there right now. I'm not even sure who his competition would be.

Cut that meat!

2) Sony PS3 commercials with "Kevin Butler"



These actually make me want to buy a PS3. They get the point across - Blue-ray is sweet. PS3 games are sweet. Other people in your family will enjoy the PS3 as well because it is sweet. The back and forth between the Butler character and whoever he is speaking with is perfect, with lots of quick cuts between the two of them. His mocking of Dustin Pedroia is also classic.

Here are his titles in these commercials

Director of Rumor Confirmation

VP of Enough is Enough

VP Blu-ray Superiority

STICK!

So the Tiger Woods story has been one of the biggest news items of the last few days. I personally think its AWESOME, but not because of all the mystery or the lying or the fact it deals with the seemingly pristine and private Tiger Woods. No, I love it because of the simple fact that his wife attacked him with a GOLF CLUB!!!!

I mean, is this not the funniest part of the whole story? It wasn't a frying pan, it wasn't a baseball bat, it wasn't a knife. It was a golf club! A 3 iron!

Incidentally, the 3 iron is the hardest golf club to hit well. She probably should have used an 8 iron, which is my favorite club for both accuracy and distance.

But come on, isn't this a story that you would see on The Onion? It would be like someone attacking Alex Rodriguez with a baseball bat. Or someone going after Dale Earnhardt in a Nascar car. Or Pete Sampras with a tennis racket. Come on! Doesn't this make you crack up?

What would Kim have to attack me with to make it equally as funny and ironic? A legal pad? Red solo cups? A guitar hero controller?

I'm not sure why, but a lot of things have seemed particularly stupid to me lately. They've really made me question the level of intelligence out there in the world.

First, there was the whole fallout from Belichick going for it on fourth and down. Miller and I were watching NFL countdown, and they did this whole feature on how Fishman's econ professor idol David Romer wrote this paper back in 2003 that made the seemingly unexceptional proposition that football teams should go for it on fourth down more often. The logic is fairly straightforward and intuitive, even though there is obviously some intimidating econometric analysis involved. So anyway, the feature made the argument as simply as possible, and then Romer made the statement I try to live my life by.

You can make the right decision and still have a bad result. Just because it turned out bad doesn't mean you made the wrong call.

Then the show turned to the "analysts" (Ditka, Keyshawn, Cris Carter, and TJ). I'm sure you can predict what happened if you didn't see it.

It wasn't so much disagreement, but almost mocking. And the "rationale" for why it was wrong? Ditka summed it up best - I don't care if you make the right decision and it turns out WRONG.

How he thinks people get to "results" is beyond the scope of my understanding.

There also are the awful AT&T commercials featuring Luke Wilson. Everyone in NYC knows that AT&T coverage is pretty awful and is to be avoided if at all possible. Its probably that way nationwide. So what is their ad campaign? To have Luke Wilson throw postcards around a gigantic map.

Which would sort of make sense if you had Wilson tossing around postcards from hodunk towns with funny names that people have never heard of. Instead... he names major cities across America. San Francisco! Chicago! New York! AT&T has coverage there!

OBVIOUSLY! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A FRIGGIN NATIONAL WIRELESS PROVIDER! The only conclusion one could draw from the commercial is "We're AT&T. We claim to serve major cities."

Then there was the coverage of Allen Iverson "retiring." This might have been the thing that set me totally over the edge. "Analyst" Jamal Mashburn was talking about how great Iverson is / was, and admitted that no NBA teams wanted him. He actually said that the phone wasn't ringing. So what was his conclusion?

Allen Iverson was retiring on his own terms.

HOW ON EARTH IS THAT THE CONCLUSION?

Nobody wants you, so you "decide" to stop playing? That's like saying someone who applied for multiple jobs, only to find no job offers, has set his own terms to not work. Just complete and utter nonsense.

So how have these things made me question intelligence generally? Because... its becoming easier and easier for me to envision people agreeing with these analysts. I am having extreme difficulty even reading Bill Simmons anymore after his godawful analysis of the Belichick call (to drive the point home, Gregg Easterbrook vehemently defended it). I can picture people watching Luke Wilson toss around postcards and thinking that awesome service is a selling point for the iPhone. I believe some people will echo the moronic idea that Allen Iverson has retired on his own terms.

I'm sure there have been other equally stupid things I've seen and heard recently. I'm just glad my brain has repressed those memories.

Also, strangely saw this on my fantasy football page tonight. The game is of course played tomorrow. Let's see how this prediction goes...

A bunch of us went to the Duke / Arizona State game at MSG tonight, and because there was no alcohol being served, we tried to come up with some bets to keep it interesting. The best two had to do with Brian Zoubek, the comically ineffective center for Duke.

At the start of the second half we bet

Over/Under on Zoubek points for the half: 2.5

The line almost certainly should have been 2. But Fishman choked on setting the line, and I instantly took the under. Zoubek did actually get a put-back basket to get to 2, but he never got anything else (obviously).

I also tried to get Fishman to give me some action on Zoubek fouls v. Zoubek points. He wanted none of it. The second half tallies would have been 4 fouls v. 2 points, and for the game he had 5 points and 5 fouls.

This will be an awesome bet for the future.

As part of Kim's 30th birthday party pregame, we hosted our first annual survivor flip cup tournament. In case you aren't familiar with the game, its flip cup, but after each round, the losing team must vote off one of its players. That leaves the same amount of cups for fewer players, which can get somewhat spicy when a team is down to one player.

Four teams gave it their all for glory and prizes. They were:

BOOBS! - Kim, Tina, and Sarah
The Voldemorts - Kate, V, and Hayes
Suck it Trebek! - Evan, Miller, and Gibbs
Asian Persuasion - Cousin Kim, Ly, and Linda

BOOBS! met The Voledmorts in the first semifinal matchup.





Best as I can recall, here is what happened:

Round 1 - Voldemorts, Tina voted off (Kim and Sarah remaining)
Round 2 - BOOBS!, Hayes voted off (Kate and V remaining)
Round 3 - Voldemorts, Kim voted off (Sarah remaining)
Round 4 - Voldemorts, BOOBS! defeated

Suck it Trebek met Asian Persuasion in the other semifinal matchup:

Round 1 - Asian Persuasion, Miller voted off (Evan and Gibbs remaining)
Round 2 - Suck it Trebek!, Ly voted off (Cousin Kim and Linda remaining)
Round 3 - Asian Persuasion, Gibbs voted off (Evan remaining)
Round 4 - Suck it Trebek!, Linda voted off (Cousin Kim remaining)
Round 5 - Suck it Trebek!, Asian Persuasion defeated

And the finals of The Voldemorts v. Suck it Trebek!:

Round 1 - The Voldemorts, Gibbs voted off (Miller and Evan remaining)
Round 2 - Suck it Trebek!, V voted off (Kate and Hayes remaining)
Round 3 - The Voldemorts, Miller voted off (Evan remaining)
Round 4 - Suck it Trebek!, Kate voted off (Hayes remaining)

So it came down to me v. Hayes in the final. Three cups. No mercy.

We both hit our first flips. But when it came to the second, I missed my first shot. Hayes did not. So while I hit the second cup on my second flip, Hayes had a shot at victory. She drank, she flipped. No good! I pounded the last cup and flipped. As my cup was in the air, Hayes quickly readied her second try. My cup landed. VICTORY!

Round 5 - Suck it Trebek!, The Voldemorts defeated



Not to toot my own horn here, but I had to do FOUR rounds as the sole member of my team, and we won all of them. I was in bad shape, to say the least.

Not as bad as Gibbs though, who is currently hospitalized. Probably because of the events of last night.

VICTORY AT ANY COST!!!!

My lip hasn't gotten a ton better - it is no longer a bluish hue on the inside, but now for the most part a deeper red. It is still pretty swollen, but eating isn't too much of an issue. I also have an awesome bruise on my right knee - it looks worse than it feels, but it looks pretty bad. I was going to put a picture of it up but Kim dissuaded me from doing that.

On the plus side, I have slept pretty well the last couple nights.

I do find myself a bit more nervous crossing the street. Before I move, I now take at least a slight glance at the wrong way, just to make sure. I don't really want to do it, but I just do it. That wastes precious milliseconds as I go about my day. It adds up!

For the last year or so, I've predicted to Kim one thing that I'm sure is going to happen to me. I'm going to be crossing a street in NYC. Since almost all roads are one way, I'm going to look the direction the cars should be coming from. Seeing no cars coming, I will proceed to cross the road. Out of nowhere, I will be hit by someone going the wrong way down the road.

Today my prediction sort of came true. It wasn't a car, it was a bicycle.

I was walking across 47th street to my office, lunch in hand. I looked to my left and saw no cars coming. I stepped into the street to cross. And KABLAMMO. Next thing I knew, I was down on the street wondering what on earth happened. A couple people were asking me if I was okay. I glanced to my right and saw a bicycle and a woman also on the ground. She was asking if I was okay too. I was dazed and couldn't see that well (my glasses had been knocked off from the impact).

Someone asked if an ambulance was needed and that didn't seem like an attractive option. Nothing felt broken or sprained. At some point, a police officer walked over, but she didn't do too much. The bicycle woman rode away some time later; I probably should have gotten her information. I wasn't really thinking straight at the time though.

This one guy wearing a Starbucks dress shirt helped me out a lot. He got me to my feet, asked me what I needed, whether I was okay, if he could get me some water or a drink, etc. I was kind of out of it, and just wanted to get off the street, so I basically refused everything. I had a few bumps and bruises, but nothing appeared serious. And while my mouth was bleeding a bit, my teeth were all where they should be. So I went back to work. My lip did fatten up a bit, which I guess would have given me the chance to use the "you should see the other guy" line if anyone asked, but nobody did.

8 hours later, my legs are a bit sore, and a weird black and blue thing has developed on the inside of my lip. But I suppose things could be much worse right now.

As Kim appropriately just put it, "you shouldn't have been standing there."

Predictably, everyone is jumping all over Belichick's decision to go for it on 4th and 2 from his own territory against the Colts. My gut was that it was the correct call.

Hooray for math!

James, V, Kim, and I played a little poker last weekend. And we came up with one of the greatest poker innovations since the invention of the hole card cam.

It started off as an accident of sorts. We didn't have enough chips for four people (I only have some cheap plastic chips that we use for 1 on 1 craps). I divied up the chips and every person had around 1100. That probably wouldn't be enough, so I found some dice. Each die, I declared, would be worth 500. With blinds at 25/50, that should be enough.

But then, someone had an idea. What if, each die was not worth 500. Rather, it was worth whatever you rolled x 100. So if you rolled a 4, the die was worth 400. However, the die would only be rolled when you bet it, and its value would reset to "?" after it was taken back from the pot at the conclusion of the hand.

It spiced things up a ton. James got beat up a bit early on, and was left with like 600 chips and a die. He moved all in preflop - the first use of the die. He rolled. It came up 1! So his bet was 700. I was very tempted by the die. Surely there was some extra value for me to take this marginal hand (K/10 or something) and go after that die. So I called, he turned over A/something, and I got lucky and took it down. I now had two dice, which intimidated everyone at the table.

I also was able to use a die strategically to sucker someone in. I had a sick hand of 7c / 3c on a board of 4c / 5h / kd / 6c. I declared that my bet on the turn was a die, and I hoped it would come up low. It came up like 3 or something, and it induced some all-in action. I suddenly had 3 dice!

The game went on, and the dice made their way back and forth. Kim became a bit too enamoured with the dice, eventually throwing away her second die in a vain attempt to save her first one, although she had no hope of winning a hand. In the end, I ended up with all the dice (and the chips) and we vowed to always include the dice in our future games.

When we get a craving for cheap chinese food, we usually go to Mee Noodle Shop, which is conveniently located a half block away from us. It is inexpensive, the food tastes pretty good, and there usually aren't any "problems" that develop an hour or two later. We used to go so often that they began to recognize us. But there was a six month span where we didn't go at all, so that passed I suppose.

Last night we discussed Chinese food places in our area. Kim brought up this place called Our Evergreen Shanghai. It is located across the street from Mee Noodle Shop, and Kim said she always saw these weird buses and vans pulling up to that restaurant. Tons of Asian people would pile out of these into the restaurant. Of course, for real good food, you go to where the people who would know best, go. So we decided to give this place a try.

As we got there, we noticed that EVERYONE there was Asian. It was very odd, considering this restaurant is not in Chinatown, but in midtown east. There were also some buses and vans that were around the entrance, and a continuous stream of them pulled up while we were eating. Each one dropped off a bunch of Asians.



In fact, it got so crowded that people began surrounding our table. They kind of had to because there was just no room for them. The doorway got jammed full of people trying to get in. It was sort of insane.



Where were these people coming from? What set of circumstances causes large groups of Asian people to get into a bus and then go to friggin midtown to eat Chinese food? Were they ironically coming from Chinatown? We were dumbfounded. Kim created some elaborate theories involving the restaurant being an Asian mafia hangout or these people coming directly from China.

The food was GREAT. We got soup dumplings (which are dumplings filled with soup and other goodness), and also some crispy duck that tasted like fried duck. Obviously that was AWESOME. The extreme tastiness of the food also ties in well with the mafia theory, as it is well known that mafia types demand good food.

Its too bad it has taken us over 2 years to discover this place.

Bah.

Devastating.

Devastating is simply the perfect word to describe the way I felt last night after watching Brad Lidge implode last night in the top of the ninth inning.

Part of it was because of the unlikey nature of how we rallied. Yet ANOTHER Utley homer off of Sabathia. And then a full count, two-out home run by Pedro Feliz (after Ibanez, who has struck out 9 times in 16 World Series ABs, my least favorite Phillie) of all people to tie it up. The home run basically screamed to me: the Phillies are winning this game.

I was (and remain) beyond convinced that the Phillies would win the game in the bottom of the ninth if Lidge could just get through the top of the inning unscathed. There was no way Girardi would use Rivera unless (1) the Yankees had the lead; or (2) He had no other arms left in the bullpen. The Phillies would take advantage of this, push across a run against someone like Phil Coke, and delirium would ensue. It felt like the Phillies already had a lead, and all Lidge needed to do was close the door.

The first two outs only served to tease. He struck out Jeter on a full count slider that made me remember the good Brad Lidge from last year. He got two strikes on Damon, although they were foul balls that he hit pulled sharply. And then... well I don't want to get into it again. But I think everyone in America knew the game was over after even the Rodriguez double. Coming back against Broxton or Street is one thing. Coming back against Rivera is another. And coming back against Rivera after you've scraped and clawed and hit one of the more unlikely home runs to tie it in the bottom of the eighth, well the players are only human. It would have been easier on me if Lidge had just given up back-to-back home runs to Matsui and Jeter.

Baseball Prospectus has the Phillies at having a 7.7% chance of winning this thing. That's about what I'd expect.

You know what would be great tonight though? If Burnett drilled Utley in the top of the first after Rollins and Victorino both ground out. A-Rod already stared down his own dugout after being hit a third time. Let's add some spice to the series. It might be our best hope.

Yesterday, we participated in an adventure / scavenger hunt called Undead Invasion. It was AWESOME. Basically, each team (me, Kim, James, and V) was given 9 clues / puzzles and a map. The adventure area was a section of the financial district that encompassed battery park and some other streets, and solving some of the clues involved interactions with zombie actors. There was also a zombie wandering around the streets who could "tag" you if he caught you, so you had to look over your shoulder constantly.

Some of the puzzles were relatively straightforward - one involved simply approaching a zombie at a particular location, asking about brains, acquiring a blacklight to use from him to see a clue on a map, and then hunting through an adjoining graveyard to find the answer to the clue. Others were more difficult. One involved finding letters from a poem on a monument, then converting those letters into a numerical value, adding letter values from a different clue to those particular letter values, and coming up with a new word out of the result.





In the end, we got them all. And while a lot of teams finished ahead of us, we declared ourselves the ultimate winners.





I HIGHLY recommend this for anyone who likes running around, using your brain, and having fun.

Things have sure changed...

Phillies Hope To End 364-Day World Series Drought

Top headlines from last night's game:

UGH - LEE! - NY Post
UT-LEE! - Philadelphia Daily News
Complete-Lee in Control - ESPN.com
Lethal Weapon - Yahoo Sports

And I'm going to game two tonight!

Go Phils!

Vegas has the Phillies at approximately +178, making them a substantial underdog. I don't see it - the offenses are comparable, the starting pitching is comparable, the bullpens are comparable (except for Rivera / Lidge). The difference in closers combined with home field advantage can't possibly make the Phils that big of a dog. But hey, I'll take the action.

My obvious pick for key player of the series is Cliff Lee. With potentially three starts, including game 1 - its tough not to pick him. But two underrated pitchers who I think will have a huge role in the series are Chad Durbin and Chan Ho Park. Durbin has thrown four perfect innings thus far in the post-season. Park's innings have been... less perfect. If things go wrong in the middle innings because Pedro or Hamels (or god forbid, Lee) get into some trouble, it will be Durbin or Park who will be brought in to face any tough right-handed hitters the Yankees happen to have.

Like a certain third baseman who did steroids.

Or a certain shortstop who, while an abomination defensively, is still a great hitter.

On a related note, did you know what Derek Jeter's career lines are, compared to his postseason stats?

Career: .317 / .388 / .459
Postseason: .308 / .381 / .477

Its almost as if he is the SAME EXACT player in October / November as he is during the regular season. Incredible!

Anyway, if Durbin or Park win, then we'll probably be down only a run or two and the game will still be in hand. If they don't, then the game is likely over. The same probably holds true for whatever left-handers the Yankees have in their bullpen against Utley and Howard. I think these battles are going to be the key to the series.

Go Phils!

*I'm back at work today, feeling functional but not completely 100%. The past week was a new experience, as I hadn't taken a sick day since I started this lawyering thing. It was like a mini-vacation, except I felt crappy. Actually, the last vacation I took was my honeymoon, and my allergies were going crazy in Paros and Rome, so maybe that's my thing - feel crappy if not at work. Boy that would be bad.

And of course, I got an emergency work assignment at 5 PM on Friday, so I worked through most of the weekend.

*Kim and I celebrated our 6-month anniversary at a random steakhouse called AJ Maxwell's. It wasn't top of the line, but it was only our 6-month anniversary. Do people normally celebrate that? Well, we sort of did, and the food was pretty good. The carpaccio was awesome, and we split a filet mignon topped with fois gras. We also had a $50 off coupon, so that helped defray the cost.

Someone was wearing a beer tee shirt at the restaurant. Hint - it wasn't me. Another hint - it was Kim.

*Kim was talking about how when she was little she loved getting a bucket of KFC. So yesterday, to sort of celebrate us breaking our apartment quarantine, we walked to the KFC that was 10 blocks or so away. We got a bucket of chicken, half original half rotisserie.

The original was as expected - awesome and better than Popeye's. This was my first exposure to KFC's grilled chicken, which KFC seems to be pushing big time (you can get a free piece of the grilled chicken today). It was pretty good, but obviously not as good as the original. Given a choice between a bucket that is half and half v. all original, I'd go with all original. I'm sure the grilled is healthier than the fried, but (1) I'm not going to KFC to eat healthy; and (2) The grilled is probably still bad for you.

*I watched parts of Michael Clayton again, and you know what? That movie is really, really depressing if you are a lawyer. The fact that parts of the movie were filmed at my old firm make it hit even closer to home.

*The Phillies are great and I should have a World Series preview post up tomorrow.

Woke up this morning with flu-like symptoms. Saw the doctor, who prescribed me tami-flu and also wanted to give me a "test." I thought to myself, "okay, maybe they'll scrape some cheek cells or take some blood." Nope.



It was not especially pleasant.

Last night's Phillies 5-4 win was:

(1) Awesome, unbelievably awesome. Rollins has earned a 3-game pass from me mocking his inability to get on base.

(2) A clear example of why we don't need umpires.

I'll start with probably the least threatening position. Fair / foul calls. We've reached the point technologically where we can put a little gps marker in the ball and inside the fair/foul lines. So we can get every fair / foul call right (even the oh so tricky, ball that starts fair, passes the first or third base bag fair, and then goes into foul territory). If we do that, we can avoid monstrosities like this. Tennis already does this. It happens quickly, the call is always right, and the game is much better as a result.

Please note that, in the picture off of that link, Mauer's ball doesn't land on the line. It actually lands one foot in front of the line. The picture was taken while the ball was still in the air.

Okay, so if we're willing to do fair and foul calls, why not balls and strikes? Last night's game gave obvious examples of (1) an umpire just totally making up his own strike zone; (2) being inconsistent even at that; and (3) taking into account where the catcher sets up.

First, the rules of baseball give you the dimensions of the strike zone. If we want to edit them, that's fine, because noone ever calls the midpoint of the uniform top a strike. We can change the definition to top of pants to knees and over the plate. The point is, we have a set definition of what is a strike, but umpires do whatever the heck they feel like. Some will give you a higher strike, others won't. Some will give you a pretty wide berth on the corners, others won't. Why do we even have rules if umpires are going to call it as they feel like it?

Second, even assuming that an umpire is permitted to make up his own strike zone (and sometimes it is a pitcher specific strike zone, not a game specific one), they sometimes are wildly inconsistent even with that. A fine example would be the Russell Martin "strikeout" last night. The ball was probably six inches outside, and had not been called a strike all night for either side. Suddenly, on a 1-2 count (I think), Martin was called out and he was justifiably livid. If you have no idea what a strike is going to be, the game suffers.

Lastly, umpires are "fooled" a lot by where catchers set up. If a catcher sets up for a pitchout, and the pitcher throws it right to him, noone in their right mind would think its a strike. After all, we have this thing called "home plate" and the ball has to be over at least a part of it for it to be a strike. Yet, when the catcher sets up outside of the plate, and the pitcher throws the ball to the glove, the umpire will call it a strike. Conversely, when the catcher sets up outside, and the pitcher throws the ball seemingly "inside" but actually over the plate, it looks bad and the ball isn't called a strike.

The clearest example of this was to Ryan Howard last night. Wolf had him at a 2-1 count, Martin set up outside, and Wolf threw the ball literally right over the plate. Not inside corner, but seriously the entire ball was over the plate and knee high. The umpire called it a ball. A 3-1 count is obviously much different than a 2-2 count. Next pitch, high fastball, and BOOM Phillies lead 2-0.

There are, of course, many arguments, some rational, some completely senseless, to keep umpires. Some plays will inevitably require a human component (unless technology gets even better). Was the runner tagged at home? Did he beat the throw to first? For those instances, I don't have a problem with keeping an umpire or two on the field. And I'll admit, there is something to the visual effect of having a human being making a safe / out / ball / strike / fair / foul call, as opposed to something flashing up on the jumbotron.

But please don't say that umpire error is part of the game. The whole point of having any type of arbiter is to get the judgment right, not to get it right most of the time. Up until recently, an independent person was the best we had, since we obviously can't rely on the players to judge. But that's not the case anymore. We have the technology to get the call right every time. Why on earth wouldn't you use it?

Charlie Manuel has made some questionable moves in his tenure with Philadelphia. Some have worked out great. See Martinez, Pedro, Game 2, 2009 NLCS. Others, not so much. See Lidge, Brad, Entire 2009 Season. But despite yesterday's absolute crushination of the Dodgers (apparently witnessed firsthand by my doppelganger, that bastard), there is an issue that even Kim saw.

What on earth was Cliff Lee doing in the game in the 8th inning?

For those of you who were not paying attention, the Phillies were up 8-0 going into the top of the 8th inning. Cliff Lee had thrown 104 pitches. Stands to reason, you take Lee out.

Full disclosure - I'm a big pitch count guy. There are lots of studies out there that indicate that after a certain point, every pitch a pitcher throws increases his likelihood for injury. It might not be 100, and its probably different for every pitcher. But regardless, the general theory is that pitchers are more likely to get hurt if they throw too many pitches. See Dusty Baker's treatment of Kerry Wood and Mark Prior. Its not just that the pitcher will simply tire and throw bad pitches in his current start. It is that they are actually hurting themselves, limiting their effectiveness in future starts. A guy who throws 140 pitches in one start is probably not going to be real good in his next start. I don't think this is an exceptional proposition, but there are people out there who don't buy it.

Anyway, Lee had thrown 104 pitches, and the Phillies were up 8-0. The bullpen has been spicy all year, but come on. They're not going to blow an 8-0 lead. The 8th was even against the crappy part of the LA lineup - Blake, Loney, and Martin. Its clear you take out Lee, not necessarily to rest him in hopes of him coming back on short rest (you probably have to take him out after the 5th or 6th for that, also a defensible move though), but just to make sure he is effective whenever he pitches next.

Well, Manuel left him in, and luckily he set down the Dodgers 1-2-3 on 10 pitches. Easy enough.

But... and this is where Kim even was like WTF?!?! Manuel let Lee hit in the bottom of the 8th.

WHY ON EARTH IS LEE HITTING? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO PUT HIM BACK IN TO PITCH FOR THE NINTH?

I'm sorry, I don't use caps lock very often, but I really want to convey how stupid this move was. You are up 8-0. You have one inning to go. Lee is your best pitcher, your most valuable pitching commodity. He has thrown 114 pitches already.

Lets ignore for a moment the whole "he's more likely to get hurt by throwing too many pitches" angle. What on earth do you have to gain by leaving him in for the ninth?

It can't be that you want to rest your bullpen. First of all, there was an off-day on Saturday, so everyone in the bullpen is rested. There is also an off-day between games 4 and 5, so anyone who goes during both games 3 and 4 would be fine for game 5. I also cannot point to anyone in the Phillies bullpen who is incapable of pitching on consecutive days.

And the downside? Maybe Belisario "loses control" and plunks Lee on the wrist. Maybe Lee gets a miracle hit and pulls a hamstring running the bases. Both of these are unlikely, but obviously the sports world would be full of articles DESROYING Manuel for leaving Lee in for no apparent reason. How about a convoluted and somewhat difficult-to-follow analogy. Let's say someone shows you a deck of cards. You can pick one out blindly. If you pick the four of clubs, you get $1,000 bucks. There is no fee involved to do this. You pick and you don't get it. Was that person stupid for offering it to you? Obviously yes, since there was no potential upside for them, only downside. The fact that you didn't get the $1,000 is irrelevant to whether their decision to offer it to you was stupid. Equally irrelevant is the fact that Lee didn't get clearly injured in the 8th inning.

And here is the most perplexing part of it. After Victorino's three-run homer made it 11-0, Manuel did not bring Lee out for the ninth.

So... you needed Lee in there to protect an 8-0 lead with one inning to go. But you did not need him in to protect an 11-0 lead. What conceivable difference is there in these two situations, where Lee will pitch the ninth for one, but not the other? Anyone?

Go Phils. Hopefully it won't even get to Lee for game 6.

I got to congratulate Victorino after his 3-run homer in the ninth:





[not really]

Go Phils!

In my mind, the key to the series for the Phillies is Jayson Werth.

We all know the usual matchups. Howard is absolutely anemic versus left handed pitching. Thus, in the starts involving Kershaw and Wolf, Howard will fare poorly. Similarly, in late innings, Howard will struggle (to put it kindly) against Kuo and Sherrill. If he does anything in this series, great, but I'm not counting on anything. On the Dodgers side, Andre Ethier is equally crappy against left handed pitching. And while our left-handed relievers are limited to Eyre and Bastardo, we do have Lee, Hamels, and Happ. So both teams have one player who will be effectively useless at the plate at least 60 percent of the time.

But the important thing is what happens when that left-handed starter or reliever runs into Jayson Werth. Werth (much like his counterpart Matt Kemp on the Dodgers), DESTROYS left handed pitching. Here are his split stats for 2009:

v. LHP: .302/.436/.644
v. RHP: .256/.348/.457

And for 2008:

v. LHP: .303/.368/.652
v. RHP: .255/.360/.407

In other words, Werth is basically one of the most potent hitters in baseball when a left-handed pitcher is on the mound. With a right hander, he is not terrible, but nowhere near the monster he is when a southpaw is staring him down.

While I think it will be incredibly important how Werth and Kemp do in the series, I think Werth's situation will be a bit more pronounced than Kemp. This is because of his position in the batting order.

Kemp hits second, in front of Ethier. Werth hits fifth, behind Ryan Howard. It would essentially be gross negligence for Torre to allow Howard to face a right-handed pitcher in any important late-game situation. So Torre will bring in Kuo or Sherrill (or hopefully this game-state will not arise, but leave Kershaw in), which means that barring some sort of new rule where left-handers have to pitch from second base, he is out. And then Werth will stride to the plate. And what will Torre do?

I predict that, at least one time, Torre's thought process will be:

"You know... Kuo / Sherrill is really dealing out there. He just made Howard look downright stupid. I have Broxton ready to go, but I'll just save him for the ninth. Don't want him getting tired. Werth isn't that good against lefties, is he? Let's leave Kuo / Sherrill in there."

And then it will be up to Werth. And hopefully, he will be able to come through, much like his WWE look-alike always does:

Sometimes I get emails from The Borgata, The Tropicana, and other casinos offering me things that are free, but not particularly great. They usually consist of free weeknight rooms, special rates for a weekend room (although they're not that special), or comedy club tickets. In other words, nothing all that useful or good to someone who works during the week and doesn't like paying $300 for a weekend room.

But for some reason, I got an email a few days ago about a free Friday night room. I was shocked and amazed! Why? Is it the economy and AC is desperate to get people down there? Is it the two or three visits in a one-month span I took a short while ago? Is it that the Borgata is angry that I somehow ended up ahead* on every one of those trips? Who knows.

*For the longest time, lets say a year or a year and a half, I think I lost on EVERY SINGLE TRIP I took to the Borgata. If I went anywhere else in AC or even Vegas I would win. If I went to the Borgata, I would lose everything quickly. This experience is not unique to me. Other people have recounted similar experiences, finding it just impossible to win at The Borgata. I'm truly confounded by my three visit winning streak, although I'm a little afraid too.

I know I'm never going to spend enough time down there to get a Black Label card (you have to earn $1,000 comp dollars in a year to get that), but hopefully I'm on the right track to having an occassional comped weekend room. I better go big on my next visit to keep this up! Gee, it almost seems like I'm falling into a trap...

This gift ranks up there with the Chase Utley autographed picture from Christmas.

Kim is great!

Mexican Restaurant Chain Review: Baja Fresh

For the last year or so, Gibbs has been raving about Baja Fresh. His points in favor of it included a salsa bar, extremely high quality meat, and overall tastiness. He ranked it higher than Chipotle, which I assume means it also is higher than Qdoba. As our weekly happy hour was at Snafu (47th between 3rd and Lexington, cool bar with good specials on a daily basis), and there was a Baja Fresh on 45th and Lexington, we decided to give it a shot.

Variety

The first thing you notice is the menu - there are a LOT of choices. In fact, Ben had this to say about the amount of things you can purchase at Baja Fresh:

08:09:47 BEN: too much choice
08:10:07 BEN: i looked like a jerk store there cause it took me 15 minutes to order

I think though, Ben's indecisiveness notwithstanding, that choice is good. Baja Fresh has the usual choices of meats (chicken, carnitas, steak), but also offers shrimp. There are a wide variety of specialty burritos and tacos that sound pretty good. They also offer quesadillas there, which Chipotle does not. It took me approximately 20 seconds to decide on the burrito mexicano: Your choice of charbroiled chicken, pork carnitas or charbroiled steak, rice and freshly simmered black or pinto beans all layered with fresh, chopped cilantro and onions and your choice of salsa.
Edge: Baja Fresh

Salsa

While Baja Fresh has a clear edge in the variety category of menu items, I feel that it is lacking in the variety area for salsa. I prefer the medium corn salsa that Chipotle and Qdoba both offer. This was noticably absent from the salsa bar.

Unlike Chipotle and Qdoba, salsa is not placed in your burrito or taco by the server. Instead, Baja Fresh has a salsa bar where you can take as much or as little as you want. In theory, this is an interesting idea. But in practice, I'm not a fan.

First, there were a lot of gnats around the salsa bar. Gnats apparently like salsa too. So you have to deal with the sanitation issues. Second, and more importantly, I like having my corn salsa already in my burrito. I don't feel like dipping my burrito into it every time (and this wouldn't even work for corn salsa anyway). So if you are like me, you either have to open up your burrito to pour salsa in, or dip. Neither option compares to it already being in your burrito waiting for you.

Edge: Chipotle

Taste

I did enjoy my steak burrito mexicano. The meat and rice were good, and the cilantro and onions added a lot. I wish I could add both to the burritos I usually get at Chipotle. However, I was not blown away by it by any stretch of the imagination. I would say, at best, the taste is on par with Chipotle.

Edge: Push or slight edge Chipotle

Portion

Ah, probably Baja Fresh's biggest failing. Kim ordered two tacos. I ordered one burrito. We also got a couple bags of chips which I guess come with every order. After finishing our meal, we heated up a cheeseburger we made from the night before and split it. I could have eaten more after that but we were out of cheeseburgers. There simply are not enough fillings in the burrito.

Full disclosure - I eat a full chipotle burrito for lunch or dinner, and usually am content, but not completely full. If you cannot finish a chipotle burrito, then this may not be an issue for you.

Edge: Chipotle

Overall

I'm sticking with Chipotle. The salsa bar idea is interesting, but ultimately leaves me with a worse burrito. There isn't any corn salsa, and was hungry after I ate my burrito. The taste was certainly good, but it wasn't better than Chipotle. While I'm not totally averse to eating at Baja Fresh again, if there was a Chipotle nearby I'd go to that instead.

I had miraculously tied the first place team on the last day of our fantasy baseball season. We were both at 81.5. The situation was thus:

1) If I was able to get one more win out of a pitcher, I would gain a half point and take the lead.

2) If I was somehow able to lower my ERA by .02, I would gain a half point and take the lead.

3) If any closer on Swann's team got a save, I would lose a half point.

4) If I ended tied with the first place team, I would lose the championship on the first tiebreaker - ERA.

So as I watched things develop, there were many ups and downs. First, Wade Davis completely imploded after throwing five shutout innings against the Yankees, losing not only my chance at a win, but also severely damaging my hopes for the ERA category.

The next huge momentum swing came courtesy of Trevor Hoffman. He entered the game for the Brewers with a one run lead. If he got the save, I would basically have no chance of winning. Hoffman struck out Holliday to start the inning, but then incredibly walked the next THREE guys. I was going crazy watching the box score update, as Ben and James can attest. Then, a long blurb of text popped up. Fielders choice, man out at second, run scores! Save blown!!!! WOOOOOOOO!

And things were going great for my final starter of the day. Jonathan Sanchez, the guy who threw a no-hitter earlier this year, was crushing the San Diego Padres (at Petco Field) 3-0. I needed the win and things would be great! Except I realized that Swann's team also had Brian Wilson, the closer for the Giants. So that complicated things - I needed Sanchez to win, but Wilson to not get the save. A 4 run victory was the key.

And... it didn't even come to that. Of all people, FRIGGIN DAVID ECKSTEIN ended my fantasy season.

David Eckstein, the guy who is generously listed at 5'7" 177.

David Eckstein, the guy who had ONE home run all season before yesterday.

David Eckstein, the guy with the .334 SLUGGING PERCENTAGE.

He came up with one man on, and promptly launched a two run homer. I have no idea how he did this, and I refuse to find a clip of it.

But that didn't exactly end my season, it only severely damaged it. My pitcher was still up 3-2, and while a save was much more likely if they won, SF could still come through. And they almost did. Up 3-2 in the top of the 7th, the Giants had one man on and two out, and the Padres oddly intentionally walked Pablo Sandoval. That brought up Juan Uribe with two men on base. A home run would push the lead to 4! He promptly struck out and that was the end of the top of the 7th.

The Giants brought in Randy Johnson in the bottom of the 7th. Maybe he would just finish out the game? Maybe?

Well it didn't get too far. He loaded the bases with one out, and that brought up... David Friggin Eckstein. I knew I had no chance.

So Eckstein somehow hit a sacrifice fly... to the third baseman Pablo Sandoval. He hit a foul ball, and Sandoval ran over to the dugout to catch it. Catch it he did, a spectacular catch that ended with him flipping over the railing. However, there is apparently some rule where if you leave the field of play to catch a ball, the runners move up a base. Awesome. Just awesome. Thanks for that. Sanchez's win was gone, as were my chances to win the league.

And to add insult to injury, Sandoval homered an inning or two later, and then Brian Wilson got the save. So the final standings were 81.5 to 81, although a tie would have been a loss for me anyway. Bah.

*Theo Epstein is kind of the man, and I love how he comes right out in this radio interview and essentially gives a blueprint how to build a good offense. It seems odd that he's so open about it - after all, if you have some sort of competitive advantage, why would you share it? I guess he's not too concerned about it, as while the importance of not making outs should be common knowledge by now, you still see people throw good money at players like Mike Jacobs and talk derisively about Billy Beane.

*I'm currently at a hotel in Princeton, NJ for a wedding. And I'll say this - I sort of miss NJ sometimes. I remember living in Highland Park and New Brunswick, walking or taking a Rutgers bus to work, driving to Princeton or TCNJ to teach LSAT classes - that was a weird but pretty fun time. There is a certain charm to NJ. No, really, there is.

*Awesome article from The Onion about Michael Vick and dogfighting.

*Tomorrow is the last day of the baseball regular season, and for the second straight year, our fantasy baseball league is going to come right down to the wire. Last year, I mananged to gain 3 points on the last day, thanks to something ridiculous like 35 innings pitched (out of mostly free agent starters), 3 earned runs, 4 wins, 30 strikeouts. It was enough for me to pass Roth and take home a championship. This year is even more spicy, as more categories are in play - I could either win the league or finish an unlikely third. I'll be relying on the likes of Wade Davis, John Danks, J.A. Happ (actually regulars on my team) and then some random guys like Jonathan Sanchez, Homer Bailey, and Chris Narveson. The first place team is throwing 7 starting pitchers out there to counter me. It will take a fair amount of luck for me to successfully defend the championship.

*Here is a somewhat entertaining casino review of the Denny's Casino (Casino Royale).

Well that was a bit surreal.

I was playing some xbox, and I heard some noises. I didn't think much of it - there are always lots of random noises going on in our apartment building. I didn't even look away from the TV.

After I finished playing, I decided to hit up the gym. I went into my bedroom and got my gym shorts and a tee shirt on. But first - I better hydrate! There isn't any water in the gym downstairs other than the sink in the bathroom. Not ideal. So I went to the kitchen for a drink.

And then I noticed the window above the sink was open. And the dish drainer wasn't where it usually is - it was off to the side. And the rubber mat that is under the dish drainer was strangely on top of the stove.

Did I put that stuff there?

No, I didn't. So I came to the realization that those noises I heard earlier was someone coming into my apartment through the window in my kitchen (I live on a non-ground level floor, but there is a sort of ledge that is below my window that someone might be able to climb up onto from a neighboring building).

Whether or not they actually came all the way in is up for debate. Its possible the thug slid the stuff over, heard the noise from the TV, and then thought better of it. Its actually kind of hard to figure out how they would have even gotten in - it would involve somehow going in headfirst. But the placement of the rubber mat makes me think it is at least possible they were standing in the kitchen while I was sitting in the living room.

I called the cops (not immediately, not smart on my part) and they came over to take a look. They asked what happened, examined the window, tried to figure out how the guy got up here, etc. And now they're gone, because they got a call about a burglary about a block away. Because this is a relatively safe neighborhood, they think that's the person who opened my window. Which means that I was about to get burglarized until whoever it was heard the tv (or saw me).

So this is all a bit disturbing. What would have happened if the person was in fact in the kitchen and I saw them? Would I grab the bat that Charles and Akure got us for our wedding and start swinging away? Would I just look at them and say, "WTF?!" Would I leave and call the cops? I mean, its entirely possible that the guy is armed with a knife or something. I'm not getting involved with that.

Hell, what could you even take from this apartment that I can't easily replace? The TV is probably the most valuable thing, and its not exactly portable. So I guess you take the Xbox. Well maybe Kim's jewelry. That would suck.

This hasn't been an ideal night.

Kim has been studying for her NY pharmacy licensing exam the last week or two, so I volunteered to make dinner a few times this past week.

My first meal was jambalaya. I'm not sure what prompted me to try it out - I was just walking home from work, and I went into the supermarket with no particular idea of what I was going to cook. I saw some sausage, shrimp, etc., and I remembered that I really liked it when my old firm's cafeteria had jambalaya. So I looked up a recipe on my blackberry, got the ingredients (no chicken, so I doubled the sausage), and was on my way.

The only mistake I made was that the recipe called for a cup of rice, and I instead bought a small box of yellow rice. For those of you who have never bought a box of rice, they usually come with some sort of seasoning already built in. This was a mistake, as I was using chicken stock (not water) to cook the rice. I didn't realize it until we started eating the meal. It was edible, but way too salty. I know better for next time though, and I think it will turn out well.

My second meal was Shake-n-Bake chicken thighs. I love shake-n-bake. It turned out great, as usual.

For my last meal, I first made this recipe yesterday (onion marmalade), and it was AWESOME. A few notes on the recipe:

1) 4 pounds of onions is way too much. I used three medium sized onions and quartered all of the ingredients, and it worked out fine.

2) It does take a long time to reduce the mixture after you add in the wine, vinegar, etc., so be prepared.

3) I used it on a couple burgers. I grilled the patties, and then when they were almost done, I put a couple spoons worth of the onion marmalade on top of the burger. Next, I put a piece of cheese on top of that, and let it cook for a half minute or so. The burgers turned out phenomenally well. And I have leftover marmalade for... well I'm not sure what.

FAIL!!!!

Ahahahahahahah!

I don't take the subway to work very often, but when I do, its now the V (instead of the E). And for the last few times, I've seen this sign at the station. It makes me laugh.

James and I were at the Jets / Patriots game this past weekend. It was pretty loud and exciting, despite the fact that I don't have any strong feelings towards either team. At some point, James looked at the score for the Oakland / KC game and asked how awful it must be to be watching that thing. This got the wheels turning in my head - which NFL teams are the worst to watch?

Note that the teams must be BORING - a very bad team can be entertaining and even a must-see if they show up on national TV. For example, the Bengals find hilarious ways to lose. And the Lions have the potential for big plays (Calvin Johnson) or groin-grabbingly bad turnovers (Jon Kitna INTs in the past, Matthew Stafford INTs in the present). Some bad teams also have terrible defenses, which make the game more watchable when the other team goes buck wild. Boring teams like Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and Seattle have none of these redeeming qualities.

However, the worst team to watch is the Washington Redskins. If you've ever watched a recent Redskins game, you know this isn't a particularly close race.

The offense is an ultra-conservative, risk-free affront to humanity. The quarterback - Jason Campbell - either is not permitted to throw the ball downfield, or simply cannot do it. Either way, the longest pass you'll see is a ten-yarder over the middle. Don't be deceived if you occasionally see something like an 80 yard Santana Moss TD in the box score - it almost certainly was a flanker screen that involved the opposing defense being swallowed by an earthquake.

Given the lack of a downfield passing game, the Redskins tend to rely on the run. Unfortunately, the featured running back on this team's longest run of the last 3 seasons is THIRTY-FOUR yards. He has absolutely no breakaway speed and no cutting ability. I can't remember the last time I saw him break a tackle. Drafting him this year was the most painful pick I've made in quite some time.

And their defense - is actually somewhat decent. This means that their offense gets the ball a fair amount of time, which makes the game even more excruciating.

The prototypical Redskins game actually occurred today. They beat St. Louis 9-7. NINE TO SEVEN. How much money would I have to pay you to sit through all three hours of that game? 20 bucks? 40? The Redskins scored on three field goals, kicked from the 3, 10, and and 5 yard lines. You couldn't score a touchdown? Did you even try? Or did you just send Portis into the middle of the line 3 straight times? Awful.

One last thing* that I like about working in a smaller law firm:

When I was with my old firm, I would receive a TON of emails. This was largely because a firm that has a million different offices in however many different countries has a lot going on. Unfortunately, most of those emails were pointless. They would be stuff like "The Doha office will be closed on September 25th," or "The Johannesburg office will be undergoing scheduled email maintenance from 5 AM to 7 AM on September 25th." I don't know even know what countries those cities are in - I sure as hell don't care that some Microsoft Word issue that was specific to that office has or has not been resolved.

I remember someone saying, "I wish I could reply to one of those emails with something like, 'NOOOOOOOOO!'" That would be one of the best ways to get fired.

Anyway, your Blackberry doesn't differentiate between stupid emails and real ones (or at least, I never figured out how to get it to). So I'd see a flashing red light, check my blackberry, and then find out that the Document Production department is indeed there for me 24/7.

Well things have changed. I haven't received one email all day today. And pretty much every one I got on Friday actually had to do with cases I'm involved in. Its nice to not have to deal with the equivalent of inter-office spam.

Speaking of spam, Kim has introduced me to it again (she made some for me when I was drunk a couple years ago), and I love it as a breakfast meat. I had it today and plan to have it tomorrow too.

*Probably not the last thing

There is a bootblack on the corner of the 47th and 6th (which is where I now work). This is somewhat odd in and of itself, since the only time I usually see shoe shine guys is indoors. But there he is, almost every day, with a little cart that he wheels up and two chairs perched on top of the cart.

I suppose this is not exceptional. However, what is interesting is how aggressive he is to getting customers. I don't think I've ever seen shoe shine guys actively courting customers. Usually they are just hanging out next to their chairs, waiting for you to stroll up. But this guy... he is basically screaming at you to get your shoes shined.

And again, I'm all for aggressive marketing. There's subliminal, liminal, and superliminal! But he actually insults people concerning the state of their shoes. "Look at those things! Come on!" I think he even called out after me a day or two ago, screaming, "Young man! When did you stop caring?!?!" I obviously ignored him and continued on my search for good street meat for lunch.

I wonder if it works for him. He's still in business, and I see some people up on his seats, so I guess it does to a certain extent. But I just avoid his corner now.

We're four work days in, and its been quite a change moving from a gigantic law firm (over 1,000 lawyers across 25 offices around the world) to a mid-sized firm (approximately 50 lawyers across 3 offices). From the third largest law firm office in NYC to a single floor in a building six blocks away. From not knowing 2/3 of the people on my floor (let alone in the firm) to meeting almost everyone in the office on my first day.

I think the switch has been awesome.

As I look at it, there is exactly one downside: a smaller firm doesn't have some of the resources that a big firm has. There is no 24/7 document production department or copy center. So you have to plan ahead a bit (or so I hear) and give an outside vendor some notice.

But aside from that, pretty much everything thus far has exceeded expectations. I don't think I'll have any concerns with the amount of work I'll be getting, although I haven't been crushed yet. I've already had some pretty good experiences (I took part in a settlement negotiation today and we're also preparing for trial on another case) that I wasn't able to get at my old firm. There are even a lot of unexpected little perks like fresh fruit and a fridge full of free sodas and juice in the kitchen! So things are going well.

Except for new episodes of Gossip Girl being on.

After a late night conversation with James and V about dumplings, Kim and I decided to embark on a dumpling crawl around Chinatown. I did some very brief internet searching, and it appeared that all of the good dumpling places resided on Eldridge Street. This is an area of Chinatown that we do not frequent, so it was a double adventure for us.

The first stop was Prosperity Dumpling:







Pros:

1) 5 dumplings for 1 dollar is a great deal.

2) Prosperity is known for having the thinnest dumpling wrappers around, and they did not disappoint. There is nothing worse than having a dumpling that has a real doughy wrapper.

3) The place looks like an authentic dumpling place.

4) You can buy a bag of 50 frozen dumplings for EIGHT dollars!

5) Once you got to the front of the line, there was basically no wait to get the dumplings.

Cons:

1) While the wrapper was extremely thin and tasty, it unfortunately did not do a real good job of holding the pork and chive stuff inside. So the dumplings were pretty difficult to eat.

2) The dumplings weren't fried enough, although this is just a personal preference.

We then went looking for Dumpling House, which is also well known for quality dumplings. Unfortunately, we couldn't find it, and in the area it should have been were some boarded up buildings. We assumed that something bad happened to Dumpling House, so we decided to try the other random dumpling places that we saw on Eldridge Street.

The next stop was Vanessa's Dumplings:







Pros:

1) The store looks nice.

Cons:

1) 4 dumplings for 1 dollar is 20 percent less than what my dollar bought at Prosperity Dumpling.

2) The dumplings were real doughy and didn't taste real good. They even somehow blurred up the picture I took of them.

3) It took a long time to actually get our dumplings.

4) We didn't even finish the fourth dumpling.

So after that disappointing experience with Vanessa, we stopped at Hua Du Dumpling Shop Incorporated:







Pros:

1) 4 dumplings for 1 dollar is the same problem that Vanessa had, but the lady gave us 5 dumplings anyway.

2) Hua Du dumplings also have a thin wrapper, which tasted great.

3) The dumplings did not fall apart at all!

4) The place also looks like an authentic dumpling place.

5) The dumplings were served immediately, and there was no line to wait in.

Cons:

1) They charge $9.50 for a bag of 50 frozen dumplings, a bit more than Prosperity Dumpling charges.

2) The dumplings weren't fried enough, although this is again just a personal preference.

Kim and I then debated whether Hua Du was better than Prosperity. I thought it was a close call, but that Hua Du came out on top due to a slightly better flavor and easier eating. Kim was on the fence. So we went back to Prosperity and got another round, and we agreed that Hua Du is the place to go to (for now).

Dumpling crawl statistics:

*8 dollars spent (4 orders of dumplings, 1 diet coke, 1 black bubble tea)
*18 dumplings consumed (1 dumpling not consumed due to average taste)
*0 bags of frozen dumplings purchased (due to lack of freezer space)

Movie Review: The Mist

After the debacle that was The Happening, I was somewhat leery of seeing The Mist. However, we had just been denied in our attempt to see Inglourious Basterds (sold out at Kips Bay), and the rest of the movies available on demand were less than stellar. Kate said we have to see it, although she was cryptic in her reasons why.

The movie starts with the guy from Hung inspecting damage to his property. There was an unusually nasty thunderstorm the night before. Hung gives his neighbor a ride to town to get some groceries, and most of the citizens of the town have the same thought. As the people stock up on necessities, a strange mist appears outside the store. Around that time, a guy with a bloody nose starts running towards the store, screaming that everyone should be afraid of the mist. The people let him in and contemplate their next move.

Kim brought up a good point - why is it called The Mist? It really seemed more like a "fog." We talked this out for a good amount of time, probably longer than any humans have since the creation of this movie. We eventually decided that mists are more mysterious than fogs.

The rest of the movie is fairly straightforward. There are "things" in the mist that kill people, and every now and then people inside the store decide to go out into the mist. Some people don't believe it, some people want to get weapons or other supplies, etc.

Most of the people are eventually swayed by the ramblings of a religious fanatic, which eventually leads to the major non-mist creature conflict of the movie. The people under the influence of the bible nut v. Hung and his people trying to find some rational solution. I did enjoy this situation, as it (arguably) mocks religion. Every single event only further "proves" that the religious fanatic is right. After all, how do you disprove things that are not based on any provable fact? You can't fight the unreasonable with reason.

There were two particularly awesome parts of the movie. Both involved an old woman doing really bad-ass and unexpected things. They involved a makeshift flamethrower and chucking a can of peas. I don't even remember the old woman being in the movie before these scenes. I upgraded the movie's rating immediately after both old woman events.

Overall, The Mist is one of those enjoyable "bad" movies. The movie is probably a serious one, but you laugh at the absurdity. I think it is internally consistent for the most part - we debated whether there were any serious plot holes. I declared there were not, just plot "unlikelihoods." Its not like The Happening or War of the Worlds where nonsensical or things directly contrary to the plot occur. I don't necessary recommend you watch it, but I don't recommend you don't watch it. Does that make sense? I think it does.

Last Thursday we went to see the debut of Michael Vick in an Eagles uniform. As expected, it was awesome.

Me, Ben, and Gibbs took the 5:10 Amtrak from Penn Station to 30th Street Station. It was scheduled to get us there at 6:30 or so. That gave us a little over an hour to get pretty lit up on the train. To facilitate said boozing, I purchased us some small flasks of Jack Daniels and Bacardi. The whiskey went down pretty quickly, and at that point Ben brought out a bottle of ginger ale that he purchased as a mixer. It was going to work out pretty well, as we still had the rum left.

Unfortunately for Ben (and hilariously for the rest of us), someone must have shaken up the bottle before Ben purchased it. The result was the bottle completely exploding as soon as Ben tried to open it. I'm not talking about the normal oh its fizzing over and some is spilling on the ground. I'm talking about Ben getting absolutely soaked while the bottle just shot ginger ale everywhere. The window was soaked, Ben was soaked, but magically I was pretty dry. The entire train started laughing at Ben, which only added to the humor of the situation. I asked Ben to fill up my cup, and the trip was off to a good start.

After Ben's soaking, we began a spirited debate of how fast our train was going. I guessed that the top speed was like 65 mph. Ben and Gibbs vehemently disagreed, saying it was over 100 mph. They proposed a wager, and I agreed, setting the over/under at 70.

The ticket guy walked by, and we had the following conversation:

E: Excuse me, what's the top speed of this train? Is it like 70?
Ticket Guy: Um, 125 mph.
E: No way. Come on.
Ticket Guy: It is. You're going from NYC to Philadelphia. Do the math.
E: I see...

Gibbs and Ben got a huge kick out of that, and said they would enjoy the first round of beers that I would be purchasing.

We arrived at 30th Street and tried to figure out how to use the SEPTA to get to the stadium. We hustled around in random directions outside of the station, eventually finding the correct train to get us to City Hall, where we would transfer to the Broad Street line. This part of the trip was fairly uneventful. However, we literally sprinted out of the station to the stadium, which is not a short run by any stretch of the imagination.

We found our seats and while we sort of knew coming in that they were awesome, it is a different animal to actually see a game from these types of seats. 4th row, Eagles sideline, 15 yard line. The best seats I've ever had for anything at a stadium (other than front row at Cameron). We had a first hand view of Swoop and Mini-Swoop doing some awesome / inappropriate things with the crowd and cheerleaders.







As for Vick, the crowd gave a loud ovation whenever he came in. I didn't hear any boos, except for some crappy play by McNabb. There were some "we want Vick" or just "Vick" chants.

We continued drinking and then got some Chickie and Pete's chicken fingers and crab fries. I think its a given that you pretty much have to get chicken fingers and fries at any sporting event, although your body will strongly disagree with your decision the next morning.

We left at the end of the 3rd quarter. They stopped serving beer at the 12 minute mark of the 3rd quarter, which seemed unusually early. But I haven't been down for a game in a couple years, so maybe this is the norm? Also, it was clear that Vick wasn't going back in the game, and we had to catch our 11 PM train back to NYC.

On the train back, someone had the stupid idea to go to the bar car for even more drinking. Ben got us some airplane bottles of Jack Daniels, and we downed them pretty quickly. Gibbs then wanted more, which only compounded the problem. I was incredibly hung over the majority of the next day, and almost threw up at my desk on multiple occasions. Good times.

1:54 PM me: action
i want nats @ cardinals under 9
its -105
1:58 PM Peter: hang on
i'm in
but i gotta do something
first
1:59 PM me: alright
2:02 PM Peter: smoltz -1.5 +130
oh wait
what do oyu have
?
cards game
?
2:03 PM thats also fine by me
2:04 PM oh man
the double down on the Cards game
Peter: come on smoltzy
me: i agree
come on smoltzy!
2:08 PM Peter: ish
give up the runs
me: 3-2
Peter: but come on prince albert
yo
the 3-2 could definitely happen
and would OBLITERATE MY SPIRIT

End result?

Cardinals 3, Nationals 2.

BOOYAH

Best anagrams for my name:

A Eleven (just first and last name)
Loaded Event
Elevated Don
A Needed Volt

Its been a slow day at work.

In a short while I'm off to go to the Eagles final home pre-season game. Ben scored us some pretty nice tickets awhile back. At the time it seemed just like an opportunity to see the Eagles' scrubs and get boozed up. Of course, things are much different now that Michael Vick signed with the Eagles. Tonight will be his debut in the green and white.

I'll cheer as loudly as I can when he takes the field.

Don't get me wrong. I like dogs. They strangely like me. I've never owned one, but I've lived with several. They're great, and maybe one day I'll own one. Probably not though.

In any event, we all know what Vick did. But for whatever reason, I'm just not that worked up over it as some people. They are dogs. They're not people. He didn't go get drunk and kill someone like Donte Stallworth did (who got 24 days in jail and 1/1000 of the public outrage that Vick received). And I really believe I would feel the same no matter what team he eventually joined, because its not like I think he'll actually help our team much.

But believe me - If he starts stinking up the place, I'll boo him louder than anyone.

I'm currently eating turkey, bread stuffing, and mac and cheese for lunch. I have a SIX HOUR meeting scheduled to begin in a half hour. In this meeting, it is likely that only the first hour will pertain to me, given that my last day is next Tuesday.

This is a recipe for disaster.

I never envisioned me staying at a big law firm forever. I figured it would last a few years, I'd pay off my law school debt, and then I'd see where the world took me.

A couple months ago, I was under the distinct impression that my time at a big law firm would be much shorter than the original plan. And it would not be based on any decision on my part. It ate away at me on a daily basis.

But then a recruiter called. And the recruiter actually had a genuine reason for calling me, other than simply finding my name on my firm's website. Two people who I had previously worked with were pretty busy at their new firm, and they were looking for a junior associate. I took a trip to see what they had to say.

Yada yada yada, and I had an offer from this new firm. It isn't a big law firm; it is a litigation boutique, where I would likely get better experience and (hopefully) have less anxiety over getting canned. I accepted the offer, and gave my notice this past Wednesday. The partner and associate I work closest with were surprised, but very nice and accommodating about the whole situation.

So that's where we are. My last day in biglaw is September 1st. Its been less than one year.

It has taken a ton of time, but Kim has finally found me a real estate reality show that I thoroughly enjoy watching.

Flip that House, Property Virgins, Property Ladder, and countless other shows bore me. I don't know how many times I need to be shown granite countertops being installed, or old cabinets being ripped out. I get it. Old things in a house = usually bad. New shiny and/or stainless steel things = usually good.

But the show that has turned this all around for me is Real Estate Intervention.

The premise of the show is this: they find people who have had their house on the market for a long-ass time. Mike Aubrey (pictured above) comes along, looks at their house, and then shows them 2 other houses. The first is a house that is "comparable" to their home, but has sold in the last 90 days. The second is a house that is "comparable" to their home, and is currently on the market. You can see where this is leading.

"Comparable" basically means "better in every way" and "sold for less than you're asking / asking less than you're asking." Thus, the show is basically a study of human irrationality. People generally overvalue what they have, so when it comes time to sell, people ignore the market. Every now and then, this works, as you only need to find one sucker to buy your thing. But most of the time, it doesn't.

Aubrey starts off each show by going through the seller's home, complimenting the various features that he sees as selling points. A mud room, a nice outdoor area, nice countertops, etc. Then he takes the homeowners to the two different homes I mentioned above. These homes are undeniably better than the seller's home. However, as Aubrey points out the various features of the other homes that are lacking in the seller's home, the sellers begin to get defensive. They try to justify why their home is comparable, or in some cases actually better, than the CLEARLY superior home. Aubrey then tries to bring them back to reality, which sometimes works, but most of the time doesn't. It is awesome.

Even better, Aubrey seems to be getting more annoyed with people as the season has gone on. My initial issue was that he wasn't being mean enough. I said that if I was the host, I would be all over these people, calling out their stupidity. We're only three episodes in, but in the last episode (titled "Bothered in Baltimore") he came pretty close to this. I highly recommend you watch this episode.

The couple had a rowhome in Maryland that consisted of 900 square feet, a second "bedoom" that was really a hallway, no dining room, and I think one bathroom. Aubrey showed them a sold-comp that had a dining room and a better master bedroom. The comp of course sold for substantially less than what the sellers were asking. They were not convinced, denigrating the condition of the home. Aubrey noted that someone is in the process of moving in, and this home actually HAS a dining room. This did not dissuade the couple from espousing the virtues of their home. So when they reached the comp home that was on the market for a lower price, Aubrey turned it up a notch.

First, he showed them the kitchen and mud room. In the mud room, Aubrey asked in an innocent voice, "Oh is that a closet?" The guy opens it up and, lo and behold, its another bathroom!

Man, I was friggin dying. Oh, is that a closet? What an awesome move!

So the guy then asks Aubrey - if we install another bathroom, do you think we could get $10,000 more for the house? Aubrey replied, "What makes you think that, in this declining market for homes, you can spend $7,000 on something and actually get more than you put in?"

Next, he asked them how big they thought it was (after numerous ludicrous comments from the couple regarding the size of the home). He reiterated that while their home was nine-hundred square feet, this one was SIXTEEN-HUNDRED.

The couple got even more defensive when they saw the second bedroom. Aubrey noted that this was a real bedroom, not a hallway. The couple first tried claiming that there was water damage in the walls. Aubrey shot this down pretty quickly. Then, and this was probably the high point of the episode, the couple looked at some wiring on the ground and said, "Oh see, there is an exposed phone line, I don't like that one bit." Aubrey walked over, picked up the cords, and said something like, "Umm no, these are just things you plug into an outlet. See, it goes to this lamp."

The couple just got more and more irrational, at one point claiming that the "wall" located near their home's backyard area was a better selling point than the HUGE backyard lawn that the comp home had. It was unbelievable. Aubrey actually left this home pissed off, asking himself what is wrong with these people.

And the ending? The couple dropped their price a small amount, and still noone wanted it. They ended up having to rent the home, taking a loss on it every month. And they refuse to drop their price any more, claiming they "cannot" do it. I think the english language isn't being used precisely there, but at least they are being punished for their own irrationality / stupidity. Maybe thats why I like this show so much.

So Kim is currently watching yet another show about the Kardashians - this one is I guess about Kim Kardashian's two sisters. And what's funny to me is just how unfortunate looking the one sister is compared to the other two.

First, there's Kim:



Then there is her now pregnant sister Kourtney:



Lastly, there is this monster who is somehow related to the two of them:



I mean, I would feel sort of bad for her. Except that she is also a total bitch too.