Man.

Whenever I'm out at a party in Cinnaminson, my first thought is "where am I going to sleep tonight? Cause I'm going to get wasted."

Then, around 11 PM, I'm like "man, I better step up the drinking or I'm going to want to drive home."

Next, around midnight, I'm like "Hmm, I'm sobering up, maybe I should drive home so I don't have to sleep on a sofa or floor. Lets find some water."

Finally, around 12:45 AM, I arrive home, and think "Well at least I didn't get in an accident or something weird on the way home."

Lindsay Lohan is on Conan O'Brien right now.

She's still hot. Implants or not.

"Do you think Jack McKeon gives Larry Bowa his ass back after the Marlins play the Phillies, or do you think he just keeps it all the time? After yesterday's 11-3 beatdown, the Marlins are 11-1 against the Phillies this year, and 24-7 against them since the start of 2003. The Marlins' superiority in head-to-head play was the entire reason why they beat out the Phillies for the Wild Card last year, and why they've tied them in the NL East this year. Unlike their previous success, in which the aggregate runs really didn't reflect the dominance, the Fish outscored the Phillies 43-19 over the last two weeks. " - Joe Sheehan, Baseball Prospectus

The Phillies are becoming my arch nemesis. I root for them with all my heart and they go out and do something like this debacle in Florida. Four straight crippler losses, and now there is a lot of grumblings about firing Bowa.

Its about time.

Here is a guy who is still freerolling from being on the 1980 championship team. A guy who is probably the most hated coach in all of baseball, especially by his own team. A guy who makes boneheaded decisions like keeping Paul Abbott in the rotation and allowing Ryan Madson to wallow away in the bullpen. A guy who decided that Chase Utley doesn't deserve to start regularly. A guy who consistenly throws out Roberto Hernandez in high leverage 7th and 8th inning situations.

Now it certainly is possible for a team to hate their manager and still win. The great Yankee teams of the past were notorious for this. But why would you keep on a manager who the players hate on a ballclub that is underachieving as badly at the Phillies are? It makes no sense.

Its not 1980 anymore. Get rid of Bowa. That way when this team fails it will have noone to blame but itself.

This is actually one weekend I'm really looking forward to.

Friday night Jenna the Hooters girl is throwing some sort of pool party at her house in Cinnaminson.  I have seen Jenna maybe once in the last year, but this party should be pretty fun.  I would imagine I'll see a lot of Cinnaminson folk I haven't run into in some time also.

Saturday afternoon, well this is where it gets not so good, as I'm being forced to go to a bridal shower.  A bridal shower.  Who invites the groomsmen to a bridal shower?  I have to make an appearance there, and then I guess its nap time, before a party Saturday night at the apartment.  I would imagine there will be two groups of people at the apartment.  Us, and 18 year old girls, who always tend to show up at these types of things.  Its pretty weird, but usually a good time.

And Sunday should be a nice lazy day of napping and watching the Phillies suck.  How are they so incredibly bad against the Marlins?  If there ever was a guaranteed loss, its tonight.  Paul Abbott vs. Dontrelle Willis, in Florida, and Abbott magically won his last start.  Yup, if you are in Vegas, I'd bet against the Phils big time tonight.

<> Today we were going over in what ways free trade could possibly harm a poor country. There were plenty of obscure scenarios in which free trade could reduce the average wages of the people (for instance, if poor institutions led to a lot of blackmail and crime) and for some reason we had to know when these bad things would happen. Allister, sitting next to me, was in a jovial mood, and we were laughing at the fools in our class. Some of their answers were fine examples of legacies getting into Duke.

“I’ll give you twenty dollars if you raise your hand and say outsourcing,” Allister whispered to me.

“No way man, she’ll think I’m a damn hell ass fool,” I answered.

“Dude, twenty dollars. Just say it.”

“No man, I have to work here. I see her every day I work.”

But at that point, I started considering it. Sure I would sound like a complete simpleton, but twenty dollars is twenty dollars. That’s essentially a trip to Kroger for me, or two thirds of a round of golf. However, the point became moot as the professor moved onto other topics. She began to draw a model on the board that I had seen far too many times. So I took my glasses off (effectively rendering me blind) as I saw no reason to pay attention much today. We weren’t having an exam for another few weeks, and she always repeated the material at the beginning of class for the next couple weeks, just to make sure we knew it. We still never knew anything when the exams came around, but she kept trying. She was one of my better professors, as she actually cared about the topic she was lecturing on.

Nearly all of my time spent in economics classes was spent drawing these stupid models, whether in my notebook or on an exam. Most of the time they simply were an X, with things like interest rates, investment, output, etc. on either axis. Other times they would have many more curves and lines. Whatever the case was, invariably one of these lines or curves would shift because of something or other, and then we would first have to decide which line shifted, then which direction it shifted, and then what the end result would be. Sometimes it was fascinating, seeing how rising interest rates caused less investment in society. Other times it was pointless, trying to figure out what happens to the savings rate when there is capital saving growth. Fascinations aside, all of these models were pretty useless because there were always other variables that the models didn’t account for, and these variables could turn things upside down pretty easily.

When I was growing up I thought that whatever I majored in would help me towards a career in some way. When I had to declare a major two years into my Duke career, I realized that it would not be the case. While I learned lots of different things in my economics classes (corporate finance and health economics especially), I did not learn anything that pertained to what I wanted to do, which was sports marketing. So why did I end up choosing economics as a major then? It may have been a process of elimination – most other majors like public policy or political science simply sickened me. Also, most of my friends were majoring in econ, so I figured that it would be a good idea to join them. I’ve decided what you majored in isn’t all that important in the job search anyway, as long as you can justify your choice to potential employers. I’ve almost developed the ability to talk about it without sounding too lazy or stupid.

Mugs vs Cups:
A Study in Duality

By Vito Rispo


Ever since Benjamin Franklin first discovered the mug,
man has longed to drink electricity. Flying kites,
keys, lightning rods, stoves, bifocals... thats right,
Benjamin Franklin did it all.

And so, of course, the mug has its appeal with the hot
beverages, you've got your teas, your coffees, the
cocoas and cocoa derivatives, the hot toddies, hot
cider and the like, because you keep your hands from
being disfigured by the unnaturally hot hot heat. But
if its too hot to handle, or too cold to hold, or even
too legit to quit, should it be in our mouths? I say
no, I say mugs represent mans obsession with painful
temperatures. Mans obsession with the unattainable.
Mans attempt to circumvent natures laws just for the
sake of being rebellious. Just like roller coasters,
mugs make me fucking sick.

Do you like hot beverages? If you do, I think that
you are weird.

It all comes down to tool usage. The mug is an
advanced device, it turns a simple drinking cup into a
fancy device for drinking superheated liquid.
Scientists agree, I don't like it. I don't like the
direction it points in and I don't like the ideology
it stands for. Handles=HAL from 2001:A SPACE ODYSSEY.
The cup on the other hand, is pretty great. Did you
ever see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? You know
where I'm going with this.

Really its a commentary about society. I mean, like,
you know, is what we want really more handles, dude?
nah

Handles=Technology

Can you see the connection? Allow me to elaborate.
Handles are extraneous technology. Like juicers or
eyeglasses, they are unnecessary with todays modern
lasers beams and a pair of GOOD STRONG HANDS. And
I've got those, ladies. I would like less handles all
around and more HOT BITCHES ON MY JUNK, yeah. The
government is trying to legislate, technology is
everywhere, lets not legislate, lets...EVALUATE. I
also think that handles make people look like
homosexuals when they are drinking. As funny as it is
to watch those gays drink, I wouldn't want my children
exposed to it. God Bless America and God Bless Us
Every One.

I think one year ago at this point I had reached one of the lowest points in my life.

I was working at a job which I dispised.

I lived in a place that had no cable, no internet, no air conditioning, and also was probably the slummiest place I've ever resided in.

And well, there probably were some other things that also made me miserable, but if your job sucks, and also where you live sucks, you don't have a lot of happiness going on in your life. Al asked me how I got by with no internet and no cable. I read a lot of books. I ordered them from Amazon.com and also I went to Barnes and Noble and just sat there and read and read. That was what I did last summer.

Near the end of the summer one of the idiots in the place I lived in brought in a sofa chair from the street. That sofa chair was infested with fleas and soon our entire place was crawling with them. At first I didn't know what was going on, only that I had strange bite marks all over me. Eventually we figured it out and bombed the house with flea smoke bombs. I slept in residue poison for approximately two weeks, which was sort of a welcome comfort because I knew that the fleas were dead. However, I woke up with a sore throat each of those days.

Where I'm going with this I don't really know. I'm just remembering how horrific last summer was, and then how things magically got better near the end and into September. When I look back at this one (as this is more or less the midoint), I'm not sure how I'll rate it. There have been some very memorable fun moments, like my trip to Atlanta and some other fun nights around town, but there have also been some very tough weeks too. I suppose that whatever happens, I'll be better off than I was last summer, which I guess is all anyone can hope for - to be in a better position than they were a year ago.

"Ricky Williams, though, sounded upbeat and happy as he discussed his decision with Herald columnist and ESPN contributor Dan LeBatard on Saturday from Hawaii, where the one-time Pro Bowler was boarding a plane headed for somewhere in Asia. He said he felt free. He said he had no definite plan, but that "it's going to be fun." He sounded like a guy with all the money he needed, happy with his children, eager to do other things and proud of himself for conquering a fear by quitting football."

Enjoy yourself Captain Insano.

From my Econ154 Problem Set that I just opened up:

5) a) sy = (delta+n+g)k

sy = (.07)k

k=2.5y

s = .175

b) with mpk x k = .3y and k = 2.5y, mpk = .3/2.5 = .12

c) At the golden rule level of capital, the mpk will be equal to delta + n + g, or .07. This is less than the level of mpk that we started with. This implies that we did not have enough capital before, so raising the savings rate will now increase the capital per worker to get to the golden rule stead state.

b) alpha = .3

mpk = alpha(y) / k

.07 = .3y/k

k = 4.29y at golden rule steady state

c) sy = .07k and k = 4.29 y

s = .30

6) a) The three components of the current account balance are imports and exports, interest payments to foreign investors, and transfer payments. The United States is currently running a deficit in those areas, yet has a budget surplus.

b) Running a current account deficit may be optimal for developing countries since they do not have much capital, and therefore their gains from more capital would be more than richer countries could possibly hope for. Investment here would give higher returns. If they run a current account deficit, the developing country is borrowing to finance growth, which would be unattainable by simply keeping the current accounts balance balanced.

c) Mundell says the fixed flexible debate over exchange rates is meaningless because fixed rates is a policy, whereas flexible is not, since it is merely the absence of fixed rates. Fixed exchange rates he believes should be compared with other monetary policies, and not flexible exchange rates.

d) Mundell believes that successful interventions happen when monetary policies support it. Interventions are not futile, but rather need three conditions. Monetary effects of the intervention should not be sterilized, “intervention should take place in both the spot and forward exchange markets,” and intervention should be worked in concert with partners.

Yes, good thing I took that class, as I haven't the foggiest idea what any of this gibberish I wrote 4 years ago means.

Although there was one good thing that came out of the class - I had the pleasure of having the best economics instructor at Duke, David Johnson. I don't know what in particular made his classes so thoroughly enjoyable - the hope that his initial tangent might go for 20 minutes, or the initial tangent itself. His way of yelling and constantly shouting "let the data drive the theory."

I just did a google search for him and can't find anything about him. A shame.

Ugh, I'm hung over and I have to go into NYC in an hour or so.  I haven't eaten and all I have in me is some Gatorade and my Singulair. 

I need a nap.

I finally registered with the LSDAS last night. $153 dollars down the drain, and probably the last obstacle to me actually applying to law school. I'm actually locked in now. Because otherwise, that $153 is wasted, and I'm not going to let that happen.

I've never actually had to make a decision this big before. Its not like college - I was just going and that was that. Its what people my age did. Now I'm actually at a decision node where previously I'd never really had one:

Continue to work or go to law school (although I suppose there is a third node that is of zero feasibility).

I guess its not really so much of a node - I'm only appreciated by a very few people in the company, and they are probably the only reason I'm still around. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say that a lot of people would be happy to see me go - who wants someone yelling that the emperor is naked?

And I'm old fashioned - I hate changing jobs and learning new names, new ways to get places, new freaking usernames and passwords (I currently have four of each for work).

So maybe its not such a node but instead another point on the only path I could be on.

I made a few bets this weekend.

I bet that there was no possible way John Kerry can win this election. I bet Allister with Kerry as the underdog, putting my 11.50 vs. his 10, and then I bet my friend Pedro even money, putting 20 each against each other.

Why am I so confident about Bush winning?

I don't really know. Its just a feeling, and I'm obviously the first person to advocate the theory about feelings being horribly wrong more often than not, but I'm human, and we're all suceptible to the same things. Regardless, there is a little bit of rationale behind the bets.

I truly believe that at the least, Bush believes what he is doing is right. Whether I agree with what he's done isn't particuarly relevent for this point - I tend to think that most people feel confident in Bush trying to do what he thinks is right. Whether or not he actually is right is secondary. On the other hand, I think most people see Kerry as not having a particularly strong stance on anything. I say this without having really researched anything. I think that most people would select the former over the latter in this case.

Furthermore, Al bet on Kerry. And cmon, if you read the last post, are you going to bet with a guy who wears makeup and carries a purse?

Regardless, I think that come November, or whenever this election is, Bush is going to win, and its not going to be particularly close.

Don't forget Al's makeup
roth | Email | Homepage | 07.18.04 - 5:52 pm | #


Oh man, I almost forgot. I kind of want to make this its own post, and maybe I will afterwards, but man, this is great. So me, Roth, and Caitlin are in Al's apt with him, and she goes into the bathroom, comes out, and says something to the effect of "I had to move your makeup out of the way."

Which instantly throws me and Roth into hysterics. Al tries covering with various things, but man, he had nothing, and it now is the running joke of the next 9 months - Al's makeup. His replies throughout the night:

"I have bad skin."

"Shut up."

At the end of the night, leaving the bar, Caitlin made him hold her purse, then walked quickly back to the apt so he had to carry it the whole way back. Man that was great!!!

I never really noticed much before, but its REALLY expensive in New York City.

Cabs used to be a pretty reasonable way to get around town, but with the recent rise in rates, it almost behooves me to learn a little bit more about subway routes. And I shudder to think of all that would entail.

The hotel room we got put up in was the smallest hotel room I've ever been in. It reminded me of a hotel room down in Ocean City. Granted, I was the only person in the room, but the bed took up approximately 66 percent of the floor space. And I shudder to think of how much this one room on 34th and 8th actually cost.

The first beer I had was a Sam Adams bottle, and it cost me $6.50. Since I just used my check card for the rest of the night, I shudder to think of just how much I spent at the hotel bar.

The next day, me, Allister, Caitlin, Roth, Cooper, and Cooper's insane red headed buddy went bowling, and games were freakin $7.50 a game. Seven fifty? Are you kidding me? And the alley had these super small "pitchers" of beer that cost $13.50. We'll call the two hours we spent there as quite the crippler. I shudder to think of how much a normal night bowling (3-4 games, 2-3 pitchers, various bets) would run.

I've never actually been in Times Square really coherent and at night, but I hope I never go back there again. Its so freakin bright. Everywhere are giant screens advertising nothing really in particular. Just a horrendous place to spend any time in at all.

The only good thing was that I can expense my train ticket up there.

When Ben dropped me off at the airport at 6 PM on Sunday afternoon, I contemplated the possibility of taking a later flight if my flight was overbooked so I could get a flight voucher. I had thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Atlanta, and the only real obstacle to coming again would be the lack of 207 dollars lying around asking to be spent on non food, non rent, non gas items. In any event, my flight was predictably overbooked. How airlines do this is beyond me. I've never had a flight where I didn't have a seat. Do people just buy tickets for flights that have a seat assignment that reads "You'll be lucky to get a seat on this flight, but show up anyway"? There must have been 10 people who didn't have seats. Delta then offered four hundred dollars in delta dollars to anyone who would take the next flight out.

The next flight out (that had seats on it) was 6:10 AM. It was currently 7:00 PM. I thought about it long and hard. This was two flights to Atlanta, or 1.3 flights to Berkeley or Vegas. I went up to the attendant after a few minutes and said I'd offer my seat. 400 dollars would be worth a sleepless night in the airport. Maybe it would be like that new Tom Hanks movie. If they make a movie out of it, it has to be fun.

Apparently I thought too long.

I didn't get the chance to give up my seat, which may have been a blessing in disguise. However, while I was waiting to find out, I searched every bookstore and newstand in the stupid D terminal for a book I thought about buying when I was in Philly, but declined too because I had Atlas Shrugged on me (I didn't at this point, and the thought of a night in the airport without a book terrified me). I was looking for Life of Pi.

I saw this book in Philly and almost bought it. It seemed interesting. Religion and a story of a boy on a lifeboat with a tiger. And how he surivives. Sounds great. And I think it was pretty popular, so I shouldn't have a problem finding it.

I was wrong. Even the non newstand bookstore didn't have it. I was lost. But not too lost, as I just got on the flight and watched The Matrix Revolutions on this guy's laptop next to me without sound. Underrated movie, BTW.

As I disembarked in Philly and faced a 40 minute train ride to New Brunswick, I passed by a closing airport bookstore, found Life of Pi, and was on my way. I read a bit on the train and more when I got home.

I finished the book tonight.

I heartily recommend the book. While I didn't get deeply involved in the religions aspects, there were some very memorable moments, and I think I'm going to give it another read soon. It was probably the most addicting read I've had in quite some time, right up there with Moneyball, Catch 22, Catcher in the Rye, and good ol Atlas itself. For 14 bucks, its a very solid way to get through any flight.

Is there any better feeling in the world (well there definitely are, but this is a damn good feeling) then when you walk out of a supermarket, look at what you bought and consider how much money you spent, and think to yourself:

"Man I just dominated!!!"

Thats just what happened to me. In fact, lets make it the final contest since this is the one year anniversary post. Two count em two prizes for the winner! And its simple! Just guess how much money I spent at the supermarket just now. Here is the list of what I bought.


2 Chicken Carbonerra Smart Ones Frozen Dinners
1 Roast Turkey Smart Ones Frozen Dinner
2 2 Litre bottles of Sierra Mist
4 Boxes of Pasta Roni
1 Bag of Hot Dog Rolls
2 8 Packs of Nathans Hot Dogs
5.06 lbs of Bananas
2 1lb Boxes of Strawberries
1 Carton of 12 Jumbo Eggs
1.33 lbs of Boneless Pork Chops
2 1.3 lb Packages of Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts

One year of blogging.

I didn't think I'd keep it up this long.

Now I can't think of not posting random thoughts.

Saturday

11:30 AM: After eating a banana and waking Ben's sorry ass up, we play a little basketball 1 on 1 outside. Bad idea, since we are both incredibly out of shape and Atlanta isn't called Hotlanta for nothing - its humid and probably 90 degrees. Predictably, we start off by doing a lot of driving and running around, but halfway through the first game we tire and the game ends up becoming a 2 point shooting contest. I win the first game.

11:50 AM: Ben convinces me that we need to have a rematch. This game is even more pathetic than the last one, and I win a game that can only loosely be described as basketball.

12:15 PM: Instant shower. You know you've gotten a workout when you're still sweating after you shower. Its not the best feeling.

1:00 PM: For the last month Ben has been talking up this place called Zaxby's. We all know how much I love Chic Fil A, but Ben said that Zaxby's is ten times better; sort of like if Chic Fil A sprinkled some crack on their chicken. Me, Ben, and Gibbs drive off to the nearest Zaxby's and order up 35 dollars worth of food.

2:00 PM: The Zaxby's is pretty good. I wouldn't say ten times better than Chic Fil A, probably on par. You get a basket of fries, chicken fingers, and some texas toast. Some good Zaxby's sauce too. We chow down on the food and watch the Phillies get pummelled by the Braves.

4:30 PM: We get the poker game started. 50 dollar buy in for 9 people. Top 3 people get money.

4:30 PM - 8:30 PM: The poker game goes on. Over the course of the event, I seriously must drink 10 beers. I end up placing second, getting 120 dollars for my trouble, which makes up for the sixty dollars I lost on Thursday playing poker while incredibly intoxicated, full of 2 Amp energy drinks, and lets just say my judgment was impaired in a third way. To my enjoyment, Ben doesn't place in the money.

9:00 PM: With the game completed, me, Ben, Gibbs, and Rader invent a poker drinking game. Its essentially Texas Hold Em, but you put your cards on your head indian poker style so everyone can see the cards but you. You bet drinks, with the biggest bet being the full beer chug / shotgun. This is probably the most fun drinking game I've played in some time, with lots of hilarious moments.

11:00 PM - 3:00 AM: We go out to a bar, and Ben states this is when my belligerance started to show. I became mostly incoherent and started stumbling everywhere. We played some foosball and then someone named Russell picked us up and we went back to the house.

3:30 AM: We start playing a name game of some sort where you have to name a dead person. I am so horribly wasted that I can't even name someone who begins with an M. I give up and make a hot dog.

4:00 AM: I sit in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, just swallowing and trying not to throw up, because this hot dog is not sitting well in my stomach. Of course, neither are the 15 or so beers. I get control of my body and get in bed without a reversal of fortune.

Fin.

So after getting my bags from the baggage claim (first time I've had to do that in a long time), it is around 4 PM and the only food I have in me is a smoothie, a stupid hot pocket that Newark International Airport charged me four dollars for, and a tiny bag of snack mix from the flight. Ben picks me up and I am begging him to stop by a waffle house or a chic fil a or anyplace for some food before we start drinking. He denies the request and we go to this place called Sweetwater Brewery.

This was awesome. You walk into the parking lot and pay 5 dollars. That 5 dollars gets you four tickets and a Sweetwater Brewery tumbler. Each ticket will get you a beer.

The beers are all at least 10 percent alcohol.

It was really a great time. There were probably like 75 people there, all our age, just getting wasted on a Thursday afternoon. There were dogs running around, a guy came and sold some pizza (thankfully) and we got pretty bombed.

We left at 6:30 PM. A good start to Hotlanta.

One Year Blog Anniversary Contest #3:

100 Words or Less: Imagine you are the parent of a college bound senior right now. They ask you if they should go to Duke. Your reply?

And congrats to MSB for winning the last contest. He still hasn't picked a prize number.

1 Year Anniversary Contest #2 - As far as I can tell, you guys can't see how many posts I've made (whereas I can, right from my blogger dashboard). The person closest will win this contest - how many posts have I made? Note: multiple posts in one day all count as separate posts.

Another note: I've uploaded pictures onto www.photobucket.com (album name: evanatduke). Just in case my duke webpage stops working for whatever reason. Actually, the reason would be that Duke shuts us off.

I guess my clues weren't tricky enough. Oh well...

Erin, pick a number between 1 and 10.

One year anniversary contest #1: Who will be the next girl on the right? Its not up for debate, I've already selected her. However, I will give three clues. Place your one (1) guess in the comments section of this post. The winner will select a number between 1-10 that corresponds to a prize list I've yet to create. This contest ends at 5 PM Tuesday afternoon.

1) Her last three movies could charitably be classified as "failures."

2) She has been featured in both Maxim and FHM

3) Her music "career" failed pretty badly too.

Your champion:







More pics available here.

I'm not quite sure what I think of this whole Coach K thing.

One theory that I'm advocating is that he's only considering it to try to help the sport as a whole. If he leaves and makes a speech about how college basketball is changing in a bad way, then it might put some pressure on the NCAA to make it more attractive for players to actually go to college. For instance, they could pay the players some amount. Anything really, to keep players around at least a little longer.

Allister and I have given it a twenty percent likelihood that Coach K will actually leave and go to LA. It just doesn't seem realistic - he leaves a place where he is lord and master of all that moves, to go to LA to deal with Shaq? Certainly money isn't the lure - he makes a lot with Duke, and certainly they would pay him more if he asked. Is it just the challenge or frustration? Would that be enough to push him over the edge?

In any event, if I was currently a student at dear old Duke, I would be mighty nauseous this weekend.

Michelle vs. The Bug

> Also, thought you would enjoy this story. Last night, it is 11pm and I am
> getting ready to go to bed, when I notice one of those horrible bugs on my
> ceiling directly over the bed. It was one of the ones I used to get at
> Concord with a million legs and runs at the speed of lightening. So I am
> so tired, and don't know what to do. I cannot sleep knowing that thing
> could fall on my at any moment. I really almost starting crying as I am
> home all alone. You know how we hate those creatures!!! So I stand on
> the bed and try to whack it with a broom. (We have very high ceilings)
> However, I miss and it falls on the bed. I freak out and jump up and down
> on the bed so much that the thing bounces onto the floor and runs under
> the bed. Somehow I can't bring myself to look for it under there cause it
> might run out and into my mouth while I am on the floor. I instead
> decided to set a trap for the monster. I turned on all the lights outside
> of the bedroom in the living room and bathroom so it may run toward the
> light and away from the dark bedroom while I slept. Ha Ha I say. I will
> outsmart the bug. So I just went to sleep feeling all gross. I decided
> that although the thing had many legs, it would not be able to climb into
> the bed with me. I was in a safe zone.
>
> Now it's this morning, woke up at 530 looking all over the bedroom floor
> for this thing. I walk sleepily into the bathroom open the shower
> curtain, and who greets me, but the monster. I immediately turned on the
> hottest water ever so that the thing would sizzle. I got it!!! It
> shriveled up and went down the drain. Talk about a morning rush. No
> coffee needed for me today. I have prevailed over the insect!!!

Uh oh.