Today will likely be on of the most epic days of my life.

1) Foxfield is going on. I missed last year's event, but this is the single event that defines UVA Law. People get dressed up in ridiculous outfits, start getting drunk at 10 AM, eat lots of fried chicken and then continue to drink cheap booze, occasionally watch horses go by, and then leave Foxfield to go to an epic after- party. This all is completed by, say, 7 PM.

2) The Phils / Mets Divisional Race could culminate today. With one game to go in the regular season, the Phils and Mets are tied atop the NL East. The Phils have not been to the playoffs since 1993. The Mets, if they end up losing this race, will have lost a 7 game lead with 17 games to play, which Baseball Prospectus would rate as the 2nd worst collapse in baseball history (a 500 to 1 shot). My buddy Jim is going to the game. Jim - root harder!

3) The Eagles / Giants game tonight at the Meadowlands. Both teams are 1-2 and teetering on the brink of destruction. To stay in the NFC East race with the Cowboys, a win here is a necessity. A loss here could mean a crippling hole that is impossible to climb out of. It could be a double-deathblow for one fan base, depending on how the Phils / Mets turn out. Its the topper on a huge day.

Giddy up.

Go Phils!

And for once, the fact that I get Nationals games on TV down here works out in my favor.

Phils v. Nationals

Hamels v. Redding (7:05 PM)
Eaton v. Chico (3:55 PM)
Moyer v. Bergmann (1:35 PM)

Mets v. Florida

Perez v. B. Kim (7:10 PM)
Maine v. Seddon (1:10 PM)
Glavine v. Willis (1:10 PM)

Greatest awkward moment in class... ever.

We were discussing the requirements that China places on prospective parents who want to adopt a Chinese child. You have to be between the ages of 30-50, must be married, not been divorced more than twice, etc. One of the requirements is that your BMI must be below 40.

And then the awkwardness ensued.

It started innocently enough. One girl asked our prof how big a BMI of 40 is, as she was unfamiliar with it. This squirrelly looking guy (SLG) jumped in with the answer.

SLG: 40 is gigantic. GIGANTIC! You would have to add like 250 pounds onto my body for me to reach a BMI of 40.
Prof: Well, I did a bit of research, and if you were five feet tall, you have to be around 200 pounds for a BMI of 40. six feet tall, around 300 pounds.
Girl 1, to SLG: I fit in that category!
Girl 2, to SLG: I do too! Big people get discriminated against all the time!

Awkward silence in classroom for a few seconds.

Then we started talking about some of the other requirements.

Dude, what is up with all these pictures of sluts on facebook's "facebook flyers?"

This pretty much sums up the way I feel about Drew Brees right now.

I mean, come on. Really? Really?!? FIVE turnovers? No touchdown passes? A last minute turnover, when you had already given up (Reggie Bush was taken out of the game), to what looked like a lineman who had dropped back into coverage?

In case you couldn't tell, that last play interception by Brees lost my fantasy matchup for me.

Argh.

I see the nightmare unfolding right now. It will be the fourth quarter of tonight's game. Vince Young will have had 2 TDs on the ground already, causing Ben to lose his matchup, making me very happy. I will be in good shape against Miller, as I had a pretty good hedge going in: Drew Brees and 20 points v. Marques Colston and Reggie Bush. Colston can only get points if Brees throws to him. Bush is splitting time with McAllister, and Bush is more of a pass catching back anyway. Until...

Mike Tirico: Brees takes the snap and pitches to Bush. Its a sweep to the right... NO! Bush is looking downfield. Colston is wide open! Bush throws, and its caught! 40... 30... 20... 10... Touchdown Saints. A 74 yard halfback pass to Marques Colston, and the Saints retake the lead.

Tony Kornheiser: A great play, totally fooling the defense, and did you see that block that Drew Brees put on that defensive end! Without Brees, that play doesn't work.

Ron Jaworski: I'm a little surprised the Titans secondary was so fooled by it. Bush is sort of like Tomlinson in that he can pass the ball pretty well for a running back. Poor scouting by the Titans.

Tony Kornheiser: Did anyone else just hear what sounded like an Asian guy's tortured scream of agony?

At the beer festival this past weekend, there were porta-potties. Of course, when you have this many people getting wasted, you can't ever have enough porta-potties. So there were huge lines to get into them that resulted in probably a half hour wait. You really had to game plan - even if you didn't think you had to pee, it probably would be best to get in line with a beer or two and just start waiting, because there weren't any covert places you could sneak off to.

Kim and I were waiting in line at one point, and I was drunkenly staring off into space, when Kim pulled my arm and said, "oh my god look." and maybe 10 feet in front of me, a guy who was four spots from the front of the line, was pissing his shorts. It was just dripping off of them and creating a puddle on the pier. Everyone around him backed off to give him space. He just stood there.

And then when he was finished, he walked out of line, and went to get another beer.

As we have ramped up the amount of beer pong we are playing, we have thought about the intricacies of the game even more. For example, lets consider your normal six cup game:



I almost always shoot at the 1 cup to start off the game. In my mind, the advantages are numerous. It leaves you with a nice rack to shoot at for the remainder of the game (we play no restacks, which is a rule that should be used by everyone), it is the closest cup, and it makes the "death setup" (the 1,4,5,6) an impossibility. However, is the 1 cup the optimal cup to shoot at right off the bat?

Here are, I think, the main considerations in determining what cup to aim at (no matter what stage in the game):

1) What is the stack you will leave yourself with if you hit the cup you are aiming at?
2) What is the likelihood that you will miss and accidentally hit a "bad" cup?
3) How easy is this cup going to be to hit compared to your other options?

Thus, if given a choice to have any cup removed from the starting six, which would you pick? I would take away the 4 or the 6. But why not shoot at the 4 or the 6 right off the bat? For two reasons:

1) The 4 and 6 are further away, and thus more difficult to hit than the 1.
2) Related to reason 1, you are more likely to come up short on a throw to 4 or 6. This would mean you might hit the 2 or the 3, which brings up the possibility of the death setup.

So, while hitting the 4 or the 6 leaves you with the optimal stack (probably), the chances of you hitting a bad cup are higher, and the chance of you even hitting the cup are lower than if you were going after the 1.

Of course, we do not have any hard data to back up the theory that the 1 cup is the correct cup to shoot at, as opposed to the 4 or the 6. We would need to track tons of games, where an individual player was shooting at the 1 to start, and then the 4 or 6 to start, and compare. We do not have a beer pong tracking program, and even if we did, it is doubtful that we would take the time out to track every shot. But there are numerous questions that have come up to which we have no clear answer for.

*When you have the 3,4,5,6 setup, which cup do you aim for? I choose the 6, unless I'm feeling particularly on, in which case I will go for the 4.

*When you have the death setup, which cup should you aim for? I choose the 1, but should I go after the 4 or 6? Probably not, as if I have a bad miss of the 4 or 6, I could hit the 5, which would leave me with the beyond bad setup of 1,4,6.

I guess further research will need to be done.

Movie Review: Idiocracy

If you have Cinemax, you may have noticed an odd little movie popping up on your schedule - Idiocracy. It was not a major release, and if you look on Yahoo Movies, you won't even find any critic reviews. However, that should not dissuade you from giving this movie a chance, as it is a very enjoyable watch.

The premise of the movie is simple. Joe (Luke Wilson), a person of average intelligence, takes part in an Army experiment where he is supposed to be frozen for one year, but instead he is frozen for 500 years. He wakes up in the future, only to find that the world is now full of morons, making him the smartest person alive. Why is the world so incredibly stupid in the future?

The movie explains this in the beginning, in one of the more entertaining segments of a movie I have seen in quite some time. Natural selection (the process by which favorable traits that are heritable become more common in successive generations of a population of reproducing organisms, and unfavorable traits that are heritable become less common - thanks Wiki) would normally favor more intelligent human beings reproducing, while less intelligent human beings would not reproduce, one way or another. However, by 2005, the human race had advanced to the point where this no longer held true; with no natural predators, and no real threat to the less fit, it simply becomes a matter of which human beings are going to reproduce the most. And in a very comical way, Idiocracy gives a "case study" of two couples and how they view having children. A smart couple views it as a huge commitment that must be done at exactly the right time. The not so smart couple... well you really have to see the movie for this part, but it is hilarious.

This is a Mike Judge movie (writer of Office Space and creator of King of the Hill), so you know what sort of movie you're getting. It never was given much of a chance by 20th Century Fox, being released without any marketing or trailers, so that's why you probably haven't heard of it. Regardless, I heartily recommend you give this movie a chance.

Tonight, a bunch of us are going to a beer festival, and a debacle is sure to ensue. Some highlights from past beer festivals:

1) Ben accidentally peeing on a police car

2) Roth throwing up behind the dumpster of a BP gas station

3) A hand truck full of beer running over my achilles tendon

4) Allister dropping his pizza on the ground, then instantly blaming Caitlin for his own foolery

Giddy up.

The Onion's Sports Page sure is great.

Eagles Fans Give McNabb Three-Week Deadline To Win Super Bowl

WNBA Season Highlights

In my Employment Discrimination Class yesterday:

Prof: Can you please give me the defendant's argument for why relief should not be granted?
Student: (after stumbling for a minute) I'm sorry, I'm just having a real hard time giving the argument because I disagree with the court's decision.
Evan: Maybe you shouldn't be in law school.

Okay, I only thought that last part.

Eagles seeking punt returner who can catch
By The Associated Press
September 10, 2007

Wanted: punt returner. Requirements: catch the ball.

The Philadelphia Eagles don't need a return specialist with game-breaking skills. They just need someone who knows when to call a fair catch or when to simply let the ball bounce.

I love seeing stories like this.

Preposterous Punt Watch:

America's Team trailed the Indianapolis Colts 27-10 with 12:45 remaining in the 4th quarter. Facing a 4th and 1 on their own 29, Sean Payton sent in the punting unit. You are down three scores to the Super Bowl Champs. It is 4th and 1, so a simple run up the middle will likely get you a first down. WHY ARE YOU PUNTING?!?! You need to score on this drive to have any hope of winning! Payton's absolutely gutless call was an attempt to keep the Colts' margin of victory down. Boom went the punt, and thankfully, Peyton Manning threw a 46 yard TD pass to Reggie Wayne on the ensuing drive. A coach must always be punished when he punts preposterously.

Ironically, the commentators for the game stated something like "The fact Payton is sending in the punting unit is a testament to the Colts defense!" Wrong, it is a testament to coaches being stupid and cowardly. You play the game to win!

Movie Review: Shoot 'Em Up

As we left the movie last night, Charles said, "That was either the best movie I've ever seen, or the worst." I said that it was the best, and he said he tended to agree.

If you've seen the trailers for this movie, you know what its about. A lot of shooting via over-the-top action scenes. You suspend belief in the same way that you did when you watched Sin City. And as long as you are willing to do so, you are in for one of the best movies I've seen in quite awhile.

The movie's first major action scene is Smith (Clive Owen) shooting and killing numerous bad guys... while delivering a baby. Yes, you read that right.

Amazingly, the action scenes just get more and more ridiculous as you go on. Smith and DQ (Monica Bellucci) have a sex scene that turns into a shoot out (they continue having sex while this goes on). Smith goes to a gun factory... which of course turns into a shootout. Smith jumps out of a plane... which somehow becomes a shoot out. Pretty much everything turns into a shoot out. And all of them are absolutely amazing.



Paul Giamatti plays the main villain of the movie, and he does a great job delivering one-liners and playing the part of the smart and sadistic bad guy. The interplay between him and Smith is pretty solid and interesting, and the husband/wife relationship that develops between Smith and DQ results in the sex scene, which I think everyone can agree is a good watch, even though you don't get any Monica Bellucci nipple in it.

Overall, you need to see this movie. Now. Go now. You won't be disappointed. Eleventy thumbs up.

You know what gets to me about this ad? Her superpower in "Heroes" has absolutely nothing to do with being able to shatter a glass of milk. She doesn't have telekinesis, isn't super strong, can't scream at high pitched tones, etc. No, her superpower is the ability to heal pretty much instantaneously. So why is that glass shattering?

It had to happen again. In celebration of my acceptance of my offer (which happened awhile ago, but whatever).

I live in a very "interesting" neighborhood.

For example, the morning after we hosted the Dandelion after-party, I was awakened by two sounds. One was of the little kids who live next door screaming and yelling. But I expect that - Kim's niece and nephew always wake us up at 7 AM or so whenever we sleep over. The other sound was of someone cleaning up the yard. I thought to myself: Wow, those NGSL people really are on the ball here.

I went downstairs to take a look, and there were three little kids, each holding clear plastic garbage bags full of the empty beer cans that had previously been strewn across our yard. They were running around, playing, and collecting our recyclables.

I didn't quite know what to do. So I did what came naturally - I gathered up the empty cans inside the house and gave them to them.

About an hour later, two adults came by. I thought it might be their parents, but no, it turned out to be two other people who live down the block. They started off by saying that we had quite the party last night, to which I agreed, as I prepared myself for an almost certain yelling about the noise level and the caravan of taxis that took over Fontaine. But instead, they asked me how much I would pay them to clean up the yard. I thanked them for the offer, but informed them that people were coming by in an hour or so to do just that, so I wouldn't need their services.

And yesterday, three young guys in shirts and ties came to the door. At first I thought they were selling crappy goods or maybe magazine subscriptions, but instead they were selling Jesus Christ. I sent them packing very quickly, although upon further reflection, I should have used my "I don't speak English" line.

Togo says hello.

Here is a hypothetical.

You are the coach of a huge underdog football team. Miraculously, you are only down 1 point with 30 seconds to go. Even better, you have the ball, first down, on your opponent's five yard line. Victory is almost assured. You have no timeouts, while your opponent only has one. What is your course of action?

A) Take a knee, have your FG team come onto the field with the clock ticking (you have 25 seconds to do this), and then kick the winning FG with 3 seconds left
B) Take a knee, and then if the other team calls their last time out, repeat the process and kick the winning FG.
C) Send out your special teams unit immediately, but have them take a knee on the first snap. Then, as the clock is running, set up for the real FG, and kick it with 3 seconds left. This means you won't have to worry about having the right personnel out on the field.
D) Kick the FG immediately, giving your opponent 26 seconds and one timeout to get into FG range.
E) Give up and go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.

Now, it seems fairly clear that you would do option A or option B (depending on what Michigan does with that final timeout). If you were extra paranoid, you would do option C. But why on earth would you do D??? Why give Michigan a chance to win? Instead... you get a long pass to Manningham, and it takes another special teams blunder for you to win. You get to win a game where you were clearly the better team, but almost gave it away because of a coaching blunder at the end. Congrats anyway.

I think my "dislike" of 1Ls is fairly well documented. But well, I do not hate each and every 1L. I only hate 98% of them. After this weekend's Dandelion after-party, I have two key exceptions.

1) Ellen (her name, I'm pretty sure), who provided 2 25-foot extension cords in order for us to use the flood light to light up the backyard and beer pong stadium. How she was told that we needed the extension cords is a mystery to me, although I do recall mentioning it to a guy who brought over Section D's drink. So, kudos to Section D and Ellen.

2) Ben, a 1L, who ran the beer pong table with me for probably 2 hours.

On the other hand, my hatred is now exponentially increased for whatever stupid section decided to make creamsicles as their drink. Not only is that a terrible, terrible thing to drink, but it is a horrible thing to drink with beer, and it is an absolute abomination to clean up. This poor decision indicates a genuine lack of judgment and common sense, and you will all fail in both law school and life.

Go Phils fans!