5 days of BarBri have passed for me, and already I've hit the wall. With every passing hour, I've grown more irritated. I find myself cursing uncontrollably at the instructor.

My biggest gripe with the videos is the length of them. Four hours for NY Procedure is fine if you are putting four hours of material in the day. However, when the instructor is taking a full minute to tell you that the word "parent" needs to be filled in the blank as to who you serve process on when the defendant is an infant, I have to draw the line. This is not the exact way it went on the video, but this was what the instructor said in my mind:

Video Prof: When the defendant is an infant, process can be served on a parent... The parent is someone you can serve when the defendant is an infant... A parent... A mother or father... Or maybe an adopted parent... Not a sibling... A parent is someone you can serve process on.

Its one blank. Just tell me "parent" and move on to the next three. Sure, its just one extra minute, but they add up. It shouldn't take four hours to get through 30 pages of an outline that is mostly filled in for you already.

And don't even get me started on the CPLR Article 16 part of New York Procedure. I know that many lawyers are not math studs, but come on. If you can't instantly figure out that 40% is less than 50% (which makes the NY mitigating rule apply), you probably have bigger problems than taking the bar. You don't need seven blank lines to write out that 40 is less than 50, and you don't need to take 5 minutes to explain why.

I was watching The Office on TBS, and they were showing a ton of commercials for The Bill Engvall Show, which I'm convinced is the TV equivalent of Family Circus. The following "funny" clips from the commercials:

Mom: (to kids) Go up to your room and no TV, no internet, no Ipod!
Teenager: What are we supposed to do?
Mom: Read!
Teenager: No, seriously!

Mom: I'm still hot!
Dad: (silence)
Mom: (kicks dad)
Dad: Oh yeah, you're still hot!

It might be the worst show in history, but I won't watch to find out.

Movie Review (with some spoilers because you shouldn't watch it anyway): Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

As we left the movie theater feeling quite nauseous and disappointed (the former from sitting in the 2nd row, the latter from the general awfulness of the movie), Ben had one question that was indicative of the last two hours.

"Why were the monkeys attacking the Russians?"

That question stems from a particularly obnoxious scene where Shia LeBeouf's character swings from vine to vine in the jungle to catch up with Indiana Jones and the Russians they are fighting with. After he manages to make up a ton of ground by swinging from the aforementioned vines, LeBeouf surprises the Russians and jumps into their jeep. After he temporarily takes control of the skull, a horde of monkeys then begins to attack the Russians.

Why? Why are the monkeys attacking the Russians?

Now you may be thinking - when you watch an Indiana Jones movie, you have to suspend disbelief a bit going into it. I'm fine with that, and I was ready for it. The group is going through multiple several hundred-foot drops down waterfalls with no ill effects? Okay, I guess. But when Jones is surviving friggin nuclear blasts by hiding in a refrigerator, and apparently suffering zero effects from radiation sickness after being blown to the outskirts of the blast? Come on. It made it difficult to keep watching.

Aside from the generally beyond-impossible things that happen, there are a ton of plot holes and parts of the movie that just make no sense. Ray Winstone's character, after betraying Indy early on, somehow convinces Indy that his earlier betrayal was not a betrayal at all. But I missed how he did that, so for the last hour of the movie I could not figure out why Indy was letting this guy tag along on their adventure. Of course, he betrays Indy again, and even after this second betrayal Indy still tries to save him.

Cate Blanchett's Soviet character attempts to use some mind control on Indy early on, but it fails miserably. Does she have some psychic power? She claims that Indy is a tough man to read, and that is the last we see of her supposed "power." That's damn good writing.

Indy doesn't even use his whip other than in the initial warehouse scene.

And of course, there is the ending. Blanchett's character is able to return the skull to its rightful place. This entitles everyone to a "gift" from some aliens. Apparently, the gift is that Blanchett's eyes catch on fire and she disintegrates, and then a hidden spaceship causes a big ruckus and flies off into another dimension. Indy and his crew escape and then he gets married to Marion Ravenwood. The end!!!

This movie was the worst 13 bucks I've spent in quite awhile. There was no suspense and the plot was nonsensical. See this abomination at your own peril.

After going to today's Yankees game and hearing the crowd go wild for Derek Jeter's fly out to right with one down (a runner tagged from 2nd to 3rd on the fly out, which was clearly critical), I have to post this incredibly amusing blog post from Joe Posnanski's blog.

Review: Season 1 of Dexter

I had some Westlaw points to blow before they expired, so I went out on a limb and bought Season 1 of Dexter. I didn't know a great deal about it, just that the premise was interesting. Dexter is a serial killer, but he "controls" his urge by only killing other killers. Its sort of like The Boondock Saints, except with a more flawed central character who can't really control what he has become.

I found the season very enjoyable, and it made the bus ride up to NYC go very quickly. Without spoiling too much, the season give you a solid background on why Dexter is the way he is - and you find out the at the same time he does. There of course is an interesting cast of characters, each with his or her own major flaws. Especially Dexter's annoying sister, who after maybe 3 episodes you begin to wish she was dead.

The plot is somewhat predictable, with the two twists being fairly straightforward, but the story is crafted in such a way as to not make this a big problem. It is interesting in that there does seem to be a real sense of anticipation even though Dexter is rarely in any danger and urgency only develops in a few episodes. However, it all becomes comfortable after a couple hours.

The humor can be a bit dark, as would be expected in a show where the protagonist usually dismembers at least one person in each episode. There are a few humor scenes that seem out of place and a bit forced, but they do not pop up enough to change the overall tone of the show.

If you have some Lexis or Westlaw points lying around and need a break for around 10 hours, I highly recommend this series.

I sort of zoned out for the part of today's Bar review video that went over "double jeopardy."

I'm sure I can just watch the movie and it'll fill me in.

Under the "Bar/Bri Method" approach handout that I got as part of my Bar/Bri course, there is a particularly hair-raising section entitled "Study Time." It states that, in addition to the time spent in lecture each day, a student should spend 6-9 more hours studying, five days per week. The weekends are lighter - only 10-12 hours per studying on weekends, and of course you should take one day off each weekend for the first month of the course.

When reading over this paragraph, I think is important to note a couple things. I've never taken the bar before, so its best to take these comments with a grain of salt.

1) It is almost certainly in the best interests of a test-prep company to recommend you study for a ton of hours. That way, if you don't do the almost superhuman amount of studying "recommended," it is not the test prep company's fault. Its yours.

I worked for Kaplan before coming to law school. During this time, we developed and rolled out the "higher score guarantee," which stated that you could get your money back (or a free redo of the course) in certain situations if your final test score did not go up from your diagnostic score. While there were numerous ways this was stacked against the student from the get go, one of the more egregious ways was that in order to qualify for the guarantee, a student had to complete an incredible amount of online assignments that most teachers did not even know existed.

When I was teaching (and even when I was in my other role), I would generally just tell students that if they were going to use the guarantee, they should just take a half hour and run through all the assignments, putting in random answers so the assignments would mark as "completed." But the point is this - if you didn't do everything you were "supposed" to do, then it wasn't the company's fault you screwed up the test. It would be your own fault. Which is why I'm not entirely surprised that Bar/Bri recommends you devote 10-13 hours per day on the Bar.

2) There are lots of law graduates taking the bar. A ton of them. There are varying levels of ability amongst these individuals Ask yourself this question and give an honest answer - where do you fall on the spectrum of all people taking the bar? Where you realistically rank probably dictates how much you need to study to pass. A graduate of Harvard Law probably does not need to study as much as a graduate of Florida Coastal School of Law. Plan and act accordingly.

Granted, this is not the MPRE, where the goal was to pass with a score as minimally above your state's required score. There is a HUGE penalty for not passing here. But there is also no reward for getting a perfect score. It is a trade off, and while you should not be lolly-gagging your way through the summer, you shouldn't be on the verge of a nervous breakdown in June either.

In three short days, I graduate from law school.

For the last three years, when people ask what I do, I would say I'm in law school. But I can't do that after Sunday, as I'll no longer be in law school - I've graduated! But I'm not going to say I'm a lawyer, because I haven't passed the bar. So what do I tell people I do?

I've now taken my last law school exam ever. Three years ago, the first exam I ever wrote filled 18 pages. This last one today consisted of 7. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the grades will be the same.

I've heard rumors that I still have to take some other law-related exam this Summer. If anyone has any information on this, please email me or post in the comments.

Defeated.

I should have been wary when I went to Wayside and on the big menu they had a construction paper star that said "new bigger chickens!"

In the end, the breast meat was just too dry. I finished a breast first, then went to the thigh / wing / drumstick area. Things went downhill quickly on the back side. My stomach was filling up quickly and I started to detest the taste of chicken. My head even began to hurt. Maybe I should have added in just a little mashed potato or mac and cheese to add some variety. And maybe I shouldn't have eaten that McDonalds for lunch in an attempt to stretch my stomach out.

I lose. And I will probably lose even more later tonight.

I bet Akure that I could eat a whole rotisserie chicken for dinner tonight. If I lose, I have to buy her a chicken. If I win, she reimburses me for the chicken and gets me another one. I'm not overly concerned about the bet, although I am trying to figure out the correct strategy. I am not a fan of white meat, so do I try to knock out the breasts right off the bat when I am hungriest? Or do I just do one at a time and try to mix it up with the succulent thighs and drumsticks? Its quite the dilemma.

We came back from the Derby to find that the Internet was still not working (it had conked out on Friday morning, when we were about to leave). So we entered into the strange world that is the land of no internet.

I wouldn't say I'm addicted to the internet. I may be as close as humanly possible to being addicted, but I'm not addicted. I can go days without it with only a minimal mental meltdown, and thats usually only in baseball season when I need to keep abreast daily, if not hourly (or every few minutes or so if games are going on), of happenings in MLB.

Still, this has been a particularly trying few days. I stayed at school yesterday for the longest I've been there all year. I hadn't been so motivated to get to school in a long time.

We had an appointment scheduled today for a cable guy to come out and look at our modem. It was for between 11-2. But magically this morning, the internet started working at our house! I suggested we call the company and have them tell the guy to not show up - what was he going to do, see that its working and then leave? So we did that and went to get some Chic-fil-a and a cornhole set for beach week. Of course, while we were out the internet went back out, and now we have another appointment for tomorrow, 11-2.

Which explains why I'm at school right now at 7 PM, planning to stay here for a bit.

We're leaving for the Kentucky Derby today. I'm pretty pumped up as I've never been before, and I don't really know what to expect. Will it be like Spring Foxfield? Will it be even more ridiculous? And what to do afterwards? Regardless, I think it will be worth the eight hour drive.

Unfortunately, its supposed to rain on Saturday. I would do research on which of the horses are mudders, but well, I'm sure the market will do it for me and set the odds accordingly. Its not like my one day of internet browsing will suddenly give me a competitive edge on the thousands of people betting at the track and around the world. So who is my pick?

Pyro!!!

First of all, he's named after a fake American Gladiator from a Simpsons episode (or at least is in my mind). Second, he's named Pyro and it will be raining!

Evan: Pyro! Fire beats rain!
Charles: Of course. Except not at all.
Evan: If the fire gets hot enough it can beat rain. It will burn so hot that it makes the rain evaporate before it hits it. That causes more oxygen to go to the fire, which makes it even stronger!
Charles: I don't think Pyro will get that hot.

At 6-1, Pyro is one of the favorites (only two horses have lower odds). As my long shot I'll take Bob Black Jack at 20-1, and possibly Smooth Air at 20-1 as well.