My first real vacation is approaching.

I've yet to actually take a full week off from a full time job. In the past I've only done long weekends, and in a lot of cases taking off just one day for a Thursday night trip, including coming in on a red eye Monday morning after a full weekend of Vegas.

That Monday wasn't one of my more productive ones.

But I'm gearing up for this Friday, which will be my first day off, and I won't work again until July 12th. It doesn't seem like I'm using a lot of vacation days, but I guess I'm counting a holiday and some weekends in there too. Still, time off is time off, and I'm preparing by letting my teachers know I won't be in (so don't try emailing me, it will fall on deaf ears) and trying to make sure that the people left behind will have as little staffing to do as possible while I'm gone.

As for plans, this Friday I'm kicking it off with a round of golf at 1:30 PM. After that I don't know. Michelle wants to go to the beach (as do I), but we both agree there will be far too many people there, and we don't have anyone we could stay with. So for the weekend, I don't know. I'll most likely just head back to Cinnaminson and hang out with my mom and family, maybe get some golf in too. At some point I'll come back here and then get ready for my trip to Atlanta on Thursday to see Ben and his crew (Gibbs and Rader are there too) and have some good drunken times.

And then I'll be back at work on that Monday, semi depressed. But at least I have Charlottesville in early August to look forward to.

Vacation rocks.

As the one year anniversary of Evan's Level 3 Rhino Alert (formerly Evan's Carbomb) approaches, its a time for celebration. Its a time for reflection. And its a time for prizes.

Beginning on July 6th, Evan's Level 3 Rhino Alert will begin a series of contests. Some will be simple (like asking you to predict who the next girl on the right will be). Others will be trivia like in their questions. Of course the trivia will pertain to the blog. Others may ask you to write haikus about various things blog related. There will be a secret random prize for each contest winner. The prize will be randomly selected from items in my room (I'm going to number like 15 items and then ask the winner to pick a number). Examples of prizes include:

1) Moneyball, by Michael Lewis
2) My green Quiksilver visor
3) One nice shot glass that I stole from a bar
4) The red pushpin that indicates you on my map of the USA
etc.

As you can see, some of the prizes will be more desirable than others. But its random, so deal with it.

In any event, its very hard to believe that this blog has survived for this long. I'm very tempted to print out every post I've ever had and compile it, just so I have a hardcopy. Strangely though, part of me doesn't really want to read through the past posts anyway - I'd get all nostalgic.

I went to see an allergist on Saturday to finally figure out just what it is that makes my allergies go berserk. I actually just wanted a refill on my prescription to Singulair, as that is the only allergy medication that has worked consistently for me. But no, that wasn’t to be, I had to have a real workup done.

So I arrived there at 9AM (think about how early that is for me, especially on a Saturday. I don’t go to work until 11) in a half conscious state. The receptionist made me fill out some forms and whatnot, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out who my primary doctor was. I rarely go to the doctor, and spit out some name, to which she asked me even more questions! How do I spell that? What is the name of the practice? Hey leave me alone lady. I called my mom and she helped me with that.

Luckily, while I was waiting to see the doc, he had a lot of great reading material: The Weekly Standard, some baseball magazine, and some other things I don’t read very often. I was called into the office to answer a barrage of questions from the assistant – whether my bedroom had wall-to-wall carpeting, whether my mattress is new, and all sorts of weird questions like that. After she was finished, the doctor came in and asked me some other things, although mostly about my life in general. I actually started talking about how I wouldn’t send my kids to Duke due to the morons in high administrative positions. But anyway, he said that we need to really figure out what sets me off, so we need to do a scratch test. A scratch test, according to the doc, is where the assistant injects various things in my back (but its not like a needle somehow) and we see if mosquito bite like bumps appear, thus indicating whether or not I’m allergic to those things. Makes sense sort of, but little did I know…


A Scratch Test

The assistant came in and told me to lift my shirt, sit in the chair, and place my arms up on the bed. She said I would feel a pinch. What I felt was four bees stinging me at the same time. And then three more times this happened. The assistant then left and said not to scratch, but she’d be back in a half hour or so to see any reaction.


Bees

Approximately one minute later, I started itching. Badly. It felt like my back was on fire and the only way to put it out would be for me to scratch with both hands while also rubbing my back up against some low number sandpaper. And I had twenty-nine more minutes of this agony? I was trying to focus on this article about how stupid the EU was being for not having any anti-terrorism strategy of their own, but even that couldn’t keep my mind off my back.

Luckily, the assistant came in after ten minutes or so, and saw my back. Her first statement: “Wow. Pollen is not your friend.”

“I know,” I replied.

She went and got the doctor.

He came in and was pretty amazed. He handed me a mirror and had me look in another mirror at my back. I saw 16 dots and 13 red splotches combined with white bumps.

The doc said that the three dots that didn’t have splotches around them were controls – nothing injected at all. Everything else I needed to stay away from – ragweed, pollen, mold, cat, etc. How they inject cat into me is a mystery, but regardless, it appeared that I was allergic to pretty much everything they tested for.


Stay away!

However, he had to wait for some of this stuff to calm down so he could see what I was more allergic to vs. some of the other stuff. Since my back was a huge red blob, he couldn’t really tell. So I had to wait.

And not scratch.

45 minutes of pure hell later, we went into his office and he said that while I was the last of my family to see him, I clearly should have been the first. He prescribed for me both Singulair and Zyrtec D (yes, both of them at the same time), and Flonase (the nasal spray on commercials) and some eye drops. In the meantime, my back was still itching.

So fast-forward to later that afternoon. I look in the mirror and see that I still have writing on my back (A,B,C,D with the dots) and a whole lot of red and white splotches. But I need to shave my head. So I plug in the clippers, take off my shirt, and walk outside. Who will see me in this hilarious state? Well the mother of the kids down the block who I used to play with back when I was little drives by and then stops in front of my house. So I’m now obligated to walk up to her, with weird writing on my back and my head half shaved, and give her an update on my life. Fun.

In any event, its Monday (technically) and my back still itches. Its been 36 hours. At least the writing is finally gone after 4 showers.

Things were going so well at volleyball. I was having a great time. It was a lot of fun and great exercise.

And then she showed up.

The closest analogy to she I can use is the annoying idiot girl from when I worked with the United Way.

You know, the girl who hurt herself falling out of a chair while at work.

The girl who described herself as "flighty" when introducing herself to us.

The girl who pissed me off so much that when she asked me if I really didn't like her, I said "yes."

Her clone exists. A more overweight, more annoying clone.

And she is destroying my volleyball experience at the Y.

I should have known immediately. As I got there tonight, the annoying competitive guy was trying to teach her how to play.

Why are you playing volleyball if you haven't the faintest idea how to play?

Yes I know, to broaden your horizons. Do it on someone else's time. And only do it if you are willing to learn.

What followed was an absolute travesty to not only the sport of volleyball, but to the very nature of human existence.

Why could she not figure out how a rotation works? There are six of us, and you rotate after every time we get the serve back. Its clockwise. Why, after two hours, did she not figure this out? Why did she instead stand there and have to be told where to go?

Why did she try flirting with guys (including me) while a point was going on or about to go on? Pay freaking attention!

Why did she not throw the ball to the other side, when I said at least three times that I touched the ball before it went out of bounds? Why did I have to then instruct her to give me the ball because she clearly had no idea what was going on?

Why did she try kicking the ball (this actually caused me to smile), only she was so uncoordinated that she ended up kicking over the ball and causing it to move nowhere, while her foot jammed on top of it? She also appeared to hurt herself. This was actually the highlight of my night.

Why did she ignore the good advice I gave her, which was to not throw the ball high up and then take a underhand swing at the ball to serve it, and instead just hit the ball out of her hand? Of course, she ignored this advice on game point, when she did her little "maybe if I throw the ball high in the air and then wildly swing at it" strategy, and the ball didn't even reach halfway to the net.

Why has she taken no physics class in her life? She apparently didn't realize that when you are on the front line, and you hit down on the ball while standing still, the ball isn't going to go over the net. I can't tell you how many times she did this, and also blindly held her hand out still trying to hit the ball. Is that going to actually get the ball over the net?

Why did she act as a foe to our team, pretending to go after balls that she had no chance of hitting, and also displaying the uncanny abilty to jump in the way and deflect any ball that myself or any coordinated person on the team was about to hit? It was as if she was actually against our team, actively working to make our game as difficult to win as possible.

Why did she catch the ball twice???? Its VOLLEYBALL!!!

I spoke about this with my roommate Brian tonight. I stated that its fine if you're not good at a sport. Like in golf. If you are bad at golf, I don't care really. Just hit your ball and keep moving. Don't stand around looking for ten minutes for your ball which is clearly lost. Just drop another one and keep moving. Make an effort. But if you are bad at a sport and not making an effort at all to either get better or not be annoying to the people who want to play? Thats one of Evan's ultimate sins.

In one of the stranger and more annoying developments in my life, certain websites that I like to frequent (google, my blog, and instant messenger sometimes) sometimes do not work on my computer. There appears to be no rhyme or reason as to when they are going to work - sometimes they come up and other times they don't. However, virtually every other website I go to works fine. Anyone have any ideas why this could be?

I'm getting pretty pumped up for volleyball tonight. There were 12 people there last time, and even though there was this one guy on my team who took it way too seriously (additionally, his british accent was annoying too), its still a lot of fun.

I'm also looking to get pretty bombed tonight.

"...and just when we posted about 200 of our 500 signs, we heard a rustling around the corner. Upon investigating the noise, we found a fellow student tearing the signs from the wall and ripping them into shreds. We made no attempt to stop her, but she quickly abandoned her pursuit when I removed my camera from my backpack. Apparently, her being conscious of her own hypocrisy was not enough to prevent her from forcibly suppressing our dissenting point-of-view. But facing the prospect that others might be made aware of her hypocrisy, and it's cut-and-run. Typical. "

Operation Tiger Claw, a great read, link here.

Thanks to Wilkins for this incredibly entertaining tale.

"Moore has announced that he won't even appear on TV shows where he might face hostile questioning. I notice from the New York Times of June 20 that he has pompously established a rapid response team, and a fact-checking staff, and some tough lawyers, to bulwark himself against attack. He'll sue, Moore says, if anyone insults him or his pet. Some right-wing hack groups, I gather, are planning to bring pressure on their local movie theaters to drop the film. How dumb or thuggish do you have to be in order to counter one form of stupidity and cowardice with another? By all means go and see this terrible film, and take your friends, and if the fools in the audience strike up one cry, in favor of surrender or defeat, feel free to join in the conversation." - Christopher Hitchens

Full article on Fahrenheit 9/11 here.

I had various topics ready for today. Why America loves Phil Mickelson. What should have happened to the person who came up with the "pizza and a movie" promotion at Papa John's. My adventures playing volleyball at the Y and the curriculum of volleyball playing that goes along with being a Cinnaminson High School student.

But none of them turned out as I wanted them to, and this is a high quality blog (as evidenced by Lindsay over there), so there is no real entry for today. Eh, here is another picture of Lindsay Lohan, maybe Matt will like this one better.

It just occured to me in my drunken state that some of you may think Norm MacDonald is dead, according to the past post. Rest assured, he is probably alive. Just enjoy his Weekend Update quotes and Lindsay Lohan in all her glory.

Norm Macdonald, we hardly knew ye



"In Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a man allowed his eight-year-old daughter to take the wheel of his car, and an accident ensued that damaged seven other cars and injured six people. Which once again proves my theory - women can't drive."

"Thurman Thomas has just broken a few of OJ's records recently. He now leads the Bills in touchdowns, and yards. Next up.... killing three people at once."

"The first deaf Miss America, Heather Whitestone, was crowned last week in Atlantic City. Although completely deaf, she is an expert lip reader. [Conceals mouth with hand.] Personally, I don't think she's that pretty, y'know? Not my cup of tea."

"Last month, an 80-year-old Albuquerque woman was awarded over two million dollars in damages from McDonald's after she spilled some of their coffee in her lap and suffered severe burns. As a result, McDonald's this week has put a warning label on its coffee cups that reads: "Caution: Do you think you can manage to avoid pouring it directly on your crotch this time, you senile old hag? Think you can manage that, huh?"

"Our top story tonight, a shocking new development in the OJ Simpson case. Late this afternoon, a high ranking official in the Los Angeles Police Department admitted to Geraldo Rivera that the police did conspire to frame OJ Simpson for the murder of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. However, they called the conspiracy off when they got to the murder scene and found that OJ really did do it."

"In other show-business news, it has been reported that superstar Madonna is pregnant. Although, personally, I find this a bit hard to believe, I mean, Madonna isn't even married! It's like... crazy!"

All quotes and pics from Fakenews.net

When zombies take over the earth, how long before the electricity fails in the United States?

Answer here.

So I'm currently sitting in the Princeton Public Library, and this must be one of the nicest libraries I've ever been in. It looks like it was built approximately yesterday, with no expense spared. I'm typing on a Dell computer that is similar to my one at work, only the monitor is this flat screen contraption that is exceedingly easy on the eyes both physically and aesthetically.

And did I mention that I didn't even need a library card to use this computer?

This is a three story building that looks like they hired some sort of super professional architect to design. The staircase in the front consists of a surprising amount of glass, and the coffee bar at the entrance looks spacious, while comfortably staffed by two smiling girls.

Also there is a cute (I think) girl sitting at the computer across from me. She is wearing an orange shirt.

I don't know where my obsession for orange shirts began. But I was in love with my Duke class of 2002 orange shirt, and then one day it was lost. I don't know which of you, if any, took it, but you took a little bit of my soul that day. Now the only orange shirt I have is a "Cinnaminson Public Works" shirt that my friend Jim gave me awhile back. I almost bought this great orange shirt at Banana Republic today. It was orange, and I mean obnoxiously orange, and it was a dressy shirt, so I could wear it to work. But 48 bucks is more than I've ever spent on a shirt, so I said good day and walked away from the store.

Yikes I just turned around, and this library has a shelf of books written in chinese or japanese or korean. One of those languages, I obviously have no idea.

I'm off in a little bit to observe one of my GMAT teachers down here in Princeton (hence why I'm here in the first place). Its weird when a teacher asks to be observed, but weird in a good way; it means she's interested in improving herself, which is hopefully what everyone would do. But not everyone takes this job as seriously as they should, which is a shame, considering the impact you're having on someone's life.

My kids LSAT scores come in a little over two weeks. I'm just as nervous as they are.

As I sat and took five minutes today to create an away message (probably longer than the amount of time I was actually away), I reflected on the amount of time I've spent in my life trying to come up with entertaining quotes/whatever for my away messages.

So lets have a vote on which you like best.

1) a friend assures me
its all or nothing
but i am not really worried
i am not overly concerned

2) I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

3) When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until
later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

4) "More tellingly, though, if poor- country workers were being paid less than their marginal productivity, firms could raise their profits by hiring more of them in order to increase output. Sceptics should not need reminding that companies always prefer more profit to less."

5) "I am not so much disappointed as I am blinded with rage." - Fat Tony

6) "Geology is the study of pressure and time. thats all it takes really. pressure and time."

7) Sometimes I do what I want to do, the rest of the time I do what I have to.

8) "If a guy has a gun, you try to get the gun, you don't run from it. Because you have a better chance of smothering the gun or getting to the gun."

9) "i don't rely on equations... i just rely on hugeness"

10) Well I'd like to help, but not as much as I'd like not to.

11) is it possible to have less than no respect for someone?

12) "there are plenty of good reasons to eat. hunger. boredom. wanting to become the world's fattest man."

13) "In Washington State, elementary school teacher Mary Kay LeTourneau pleaded guilty to having sex with a sixth-grade student. LeTourneau has been branded a sex offender, or as the kids refer to her, 'the greatest teacher of all time.'"

14) showers feel so good
i could stand in here all night
too bad i should not

15) "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker."

16) Zorak: Hey touch it. Go on, see what happens
Moltar: Touch it, you know you want to.
Z: Cmon man, touch it.
M: Yes, feel its heat
Z: Touch it
M: Stroke its supple contours
Z: Nothing will happen, just touch it, thats what you want to do
M: You know you want to, touch it
Z: Touch it
M: Its there for you to touch
Z: You know you wanna.

17) If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and
while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

18) "Who are safer drivers? Men, or women? Well, according to a new survey, 55% of adults feel women are most responsible for minor fenderbenders, while 78% blame men for most fatal crashes. Please note that the percentages in the pie graphs do not add up to 100%, because the math was done by a woman. For those of you hissing at that joke , it should be noted that that joke was written by a woman. So, now you don't know what the hell to do. Nah, I'm just kidding. We don't hire women."

Vote now, and vote often!

Day 2 of the "I have only one Singular (allergy medication) pill left and no refills, and I can't see my allergist until next Saturday" experiment is going fairly well. Yesterday my allergies didn't act up on me at all, and today I am experiencing only mild allergy related symptoms.

However, tomorrow I'm going around Rutgers for a couple hours to put up some teach for Kaplan flyers, and I'm seriously considering using my remaining singular tomorrow morning. Or maybe I'll go to Rite Aid beforehand and find some over the counter stuff. Has anyone had any success with over the counter allergy medication?

Durham is not known for its winters. The first winter at Duke was extremely temperate by my standards, I don’t think the temperature went below thirty degrees the entire time, and it did not snow. I was told that it rarely if ever snowed. That is why the blizzard came as such a surprise.
I never listened to the weather. It was always the same, or so I thought. I don’t even recall what time it started. I just looked outside the window and suddenly these giant white flakes were falling. A bunch of us went downstairs and saw at least four or five inches of slushy snow on the ground outside of our dorm. James, Jon, and I quickly rushed to put on our tenting/snow gear and get outside. By the time we got outside, there was already a huge snowball fight between two nondescript groups – the only dividing line seemed to be what side you walked onto. This was at approximately 9 PM.
After a pretty weak snowball fight, I went with some guys to see the 340 girls. We managed to convince some of them to join us for fun out on the main quad. When we finally got out there, it was truly a sight to see. The quad was full with literally a thousand Duke students all throwing snowballs, building things, or just frolicking in the snow. Many Duke students had never seen snow before. One person in our group told a legend of a secret passageway up to the highest point on any dorm, so we tried to find it. When we found it, it led to a fifth story area overlooking the quad. We then proceeded to drop huge snowballs onto anyone walking by. Some idiots tried retaliating, failing to realize that it is very difficult to throw a snowball five stories high, and even if it did reach us, we would simply catch it and then rain more white death upon them.
Eventually I got cold and went back to my room. Jon and some of the 340 girls stole trays and went sledding on science drive until 5 AM. I stupidly was only wearing a long sleeve soccer shirt and a pair of pants, so I decided to call it a night. I slept really well that night, and when I woke up the next morning, the blizzard had abated, but 18 inches of snow was on the ground. It was the worst storm in a century to hit Durham. For a woefully unprepared state that does not keep salt reserves but instead puts dirt on the snow and ice, this meant that the state, and most importantly our school, would be shut down for at least a few days. All in all, we got four days off from classes. Four days to just sit, play video games, go sledding, and drink beer. Life was very, very good. The school tried to hold make up classes on the weekends. Not surprisingly, student turnout for these classes was extremely low.

71 degrees. Sunny. A baseball game at Yankee stadium. I'm not extremely hung over. The fact that I've angered Katie by acquiring Cooper's ticket for the game.

Ahhh, thats nice.

Way back in the day, when my family had this state of the art Gateway 2000 computer that ran at an outstanding 33mhz, the internet was just a funny word that I didn't give much thought to. My sister had Prodigy on her computer upstairs (with two, count em, two 3.5 floppy drives), but I never got into it.

Then I started using my friend's service... I don't remember the name, and it wasn't really internet, but it had like games you can play and a virtual community of some sort.

Eventually I decided I wanted some internet of my own, but the problem was that the 33mhz Gateway in my home didn't have a modem. Or so I thought. I discovered that it did have a 2400 bps modem, which wasn't too bad, just not up to the 14.4 rockets that some of my friends had.

Eventually we got our computer pumped up into a new stand up tower design and with a 28.8 modem and even some extra RAM. I was pretty pumped, and we signed on for some AOL. AOL was a turbulent time. It was good at first, but then things went downhill as everyone started using it and AOL wasn't quite ready for the explosion. Busy signals ran rampant, and I eventually would cancel it. I still remember that conversation I had with the guy.

Evan: I want to cancel my AOL account.
Tech Guy: Why?
Evan: Busy signals. I can't get online enough
Tech Guy: You've been on for (some large amount) of hours. Doesn't seem that way to me.
Evan: I have to wake up at 3 AM to do it. I've had enough.

That led to a weird non internet phase, but at that time services like Juno free email were developing. I vividly recall at one point how I somehow was able to connect to the internet when Juno was just getting my free email. It was quite the realization.

We eventually signed on for Erols internet, which was a bit cheaper than AOL. We still have it to this day.

However, I moved on past that when I got to Duke. Wow was this fast! The first time I hooked up my new computer to it I couldn't believe it. It was like I had just hit the back button on my browser! How was ESPN already on the page? I just typed in the address like one second ago. My computer junkie engineer roommate got me signed onto Hotline, which is sort of like Kazaa is now, only much shadier and with more access to anything you could possibly want.

After Duke, for two years, I had dealt with a modem internet connection. Or none at all at times. For the past 9 months I'd actually been using a 33.6 modem that I hooked up to my computer in my room in the house with the lesbians. Me and one of the lesbians shared a phone line. But now, things have changed. Now I have a fast internet connection. We had cable, but just switched to DSL because its cheaper. They even sent over a wireless router, which is useless to me since I have a desktop, but nice for Bryan and Katie since they have laptops. And I don't mind fewer wires running through my room.

Its been I guess 10 years from 2400 bps modems. And now we have wireless cable/dsl connections.

*I went to Target tonight in search of a nice comfortable chair, sort of like the one Janelle has in her living room. I found this:



I can't think of a better fifty dollars I've spent in a long time. I've been sitting in it all night, drinking some merlot, watching some baseball, and resting my feet on my exercise ball. This is living.

*I also bought a smoothie blender thing at Target. It is just like a blender, but it has a little spicket thing so you can dispense the smoothie right into a cup. I guess actually taking off the lid and pouring was too difficult. Anyway, I plan to buy lots of fresh fruit and such to make lots of smoothies. They are excellent.

*I haven't watched the Lakers/Pistons series due to my zero cable (I know its on network, I'm picking up my antennae from home this weekend), but here is my bold predictions - Lakers sweep in Detroit to take the series.

*The nine eight by ten frames hanging over my bed currently consist of:

1) Futurama magazine ad of Bender with a robot floozie. Text states "Characters you can relate to"
2) Picture from J Crew Catalogue of very cute girl
3) Picture from Sports Illustrated of the 1980 Miracle on Ice end of game celebration
4) Collage created from random pictures from Duke
5) Sports Illustrated cover shot of Phil Mickelson jumping in the air after winning the Masters
6) Very hot girl from Ocean Pacific black and white ad
7) Keira Knightley, Stuff Magazine's 100 Most Wanted
8) Goldschlager ad, picture of a guy in a helmet with a shot. Text states "Be careful"
9) Collage #2 created from random pictures from Duke

*I have this Monet print hanging in my room, I've actually had this print since junior year.



My walls are currently blue, and this print has a white poster border. Should I cut off the white border to have it blend in better with the wall? I think it would look really neat, but can't make a decision.

The McDonalds two blocks from work is now closed.

It was weird enough last week. Me and Aaron were walking over from the office because I had a hankering for a two cheeseburger meal. But for some odd reason, there was a piece of paper hanging in the door. It read "McDonalds is close."

Obviously... I'm standing at the door.

But I sensed something was amiss. Aaron also did. I tried the door. It was locked. This was at 1PM or so.

Very weird. Aaron conjectured that there was a robbery, and thats why it was closed. We didn't see anyone inside, and I decided to go to Burger King.

A few days ago, I was walking from the train station back to my apartment, and I saw the horrible realization. McDonalds wasn't just close for one day, it was close for a long time! The video games and some of the tables were removed.

I don't know why it bothered me so. Maybe its because it was such a part of my life for the last nine months. From double cheeseburger meals, to chicken strip meals, to my fruit and yogurt parfait binge, it served my every food need. Maybe comfort food for the 21st century is fast food.

The only thing that could make it better is if an Arbys moved in.

"I'm so hungry that I could eat at Arbys!"

Delusions of a madman:

calneuro (8:23:20 PM): Griffey and Casey will lead cincinnati all the way to a RED OCTOBER

calneuro (8:21:19 PM): Griffey is nothing but good flavor
Evan4444 (8:21:28 PM): he'll get hurt with a career ending injury
Evan4444 (8:21:30 PM): at one of your games
Evan4444 (8:21:32 PM): 499
Evan4444 (8:21:35 PM): man that would be sweet
calneuro (8:21:41 PM): a few injury-riddled seasons and all you idiots are down on him
calneuro (8:21:51 PM): I NEVER STOPPED SUPPORTING HIM!

calneuro (8:24:53 PM): Sean Casey is the master of flavor

The night in Wrightsville Beach started with a "Mexican Carbomb," which is a foul foul drink that Mark got for me and James.

It consisted of a half glass of corona, and a shot glass filled with half kahlua and half tequila. About as tasty as it sounds, it started things off and things got pretty crippling by the end of the night.

In fact at the end of the night (3AM), Mark was babbling about us going to this girls apartment that was over a mile away. We had no transportation, but Mark claimed that we had a bike and his skateboard, and we could pick up another bike on the way. Mark then passed out on the floor and me and James pummelled him.

Good times that Wrightsville Beach.

Off to Charlotte, temporary home of Cracky, semi-permanent home of Ms. D'Cruz, and 2.5 hours away from the King of Suck.

For your viewing enjoyment, here is another picture of Allison Mack

I decided to take the plunge today and try something new.

I tried the angus steak burger with bacon and cheese at Burger King. It is a premium burger, as the extra value meal cost me $6.35.

It was worth ever penny. That was the greatest burger I've ever tasted. Of course, the burger alone contains 44 grams of fat and like 800 calories, but man, it was great.

Press release as follows.

MIAMI, May 27 /PRNewswire/ -- Long summer days, big fire-grilled burgers and BURGER KING(R) Restaurants have been part of American culture for 50 years. Now Burger King Corporation is celebrating the start of summer this Memorial Day weekend with the national roll-out of its new, big-tasting Angus Steak Burger and a move to extended hours of operation.

The new Angus Steak Burger marks the first time a national fast food hamburger restaurant has offered consumers a premium burger made of 100 percent Angus beef.

And beginning today, most BURGER KING restaurants will remain open until midnight Sunday through Thursday nights, and until 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights.

"Our Guests are particularly active during the summer months and we're seeing even more traffic in our restaurants thanks to the popularity of our new menu items," said Russ Klein, chief marketing officer for Burger King Corporation. "We expect the new Angus Steak Burger will attract a new group of burger lovers who want to taste what all the excitement is about, and the extended hours of operation will make BURGER KING restaurants the summer stop for those looking to try the many new products we now offer."

The new Angus Steak Burger was first introduced in April as a limited time offer, and early results show that this fire-grilled, one-third pound of 100 percent premium Angus steak burger is a hit with consumers. National TV advertising debuts June 14.

So after a hard day of victorious golf, me and Ben found our way to the Borgata for a night of gambling. Pete and Al were already there and we were supposed to meet up.

9:00 PM - We finish up eating at the Borgata buffet, which is the greatest buffet in the world. Seriously, every item they have is like the best you've ever had. They had these great big piles of sirloin steaks and also some great prime rib. Ben's dad throughly enjoyed the "hobo clam bakes" which were these little packages wrapped in foil of clams and corn and other assorted things. Anyway, Ben retired to the room to "do a number two and then take a short nap" and I went down to the tables.

9:30 PM - I lose twenty in video poker.

10:15 PM - Al and Fishman make contact with me, and we go over to the craps table. I buy in for a hundred and find out Fishman is down approximately 200 and Al down 500. I quickly lose my hundred on some horrendously bad rolling by the three of us.

11:00 PM - I tell them I'm going to play some video poker since we can't get a blackjack table and we can't get a spot in the poker room either. Al and Pete scoff and go off to play some more craps.

11:30 PM - I befriend this guy named Bill, and we sit and play our video poker machines and get pretty wasted. Bill is actually from Mt. Laurel, which is near Cinnaminson. I hit a royal flush with wilds for a 31 dollar payout, my largest from any video poker machine (playing 1.25 a whirl). Bill gives me a high five.

11:45 PM - Bill hits four deuces, which would have given him 311 bucks if he played full credits. Instead he played one and gets like 40 bucks. Still pretty good, but man, kind of a waste. I'm getting kind of wasted at this point from a continuous stream of Heinkens.

12:15 AM - I am doing pretty well in poker when I get a phone call. Its fishman, and he wants to go up to the room. He has lost too much money. This is reprehensible and I refuse to let him into the room. I hang up on him.

12:16 AM - I hang up on him again

12:17 AM - I pick up the phone and tell him he better gamble more cause there is no way in hell I'm letting him in the room this early.

1:00 AM - I get another whiny call from Pete telling me to meet him and Al at the Metropolitan.

1:15 AM - I find them over there and order a beer while they get some food. Pete starts complaining about how he has lost too much money or something. I ignore him and mock him. Al is up 200 at this point so I make him pay for my beer. Thats the way AC works - the person up any amount buys some food. Unless you've somehow got it comped.

2:00 AM - We leave and I demand we go back to the craps table. We each lose another 100 and Fishman is now begging to go up to the room like the whiny bitch he is. Yeah Fishman, you are a whiny bitch.

2:10 AM - I relent and take them up to the room. Me and Al go back downstairs.

2:20 AM - We find Ben, who supposedly has been around the tables all night, but just hasn't seen us. Me and Al of course think he's just been sleeping like a little bitch, but oh well. We go and hit the tables and I lose some more, as does Al.

3:30 AM - Al is determined to make up some of the 900 dollars he's lost, and he decides to play roulette, probably the worst game to play in all of the casino. There's a nice little way to remember which games are the worst to play - they're the easiest. Roulette is the easiest and thus has the most house edge. Blackjack and video poker the hardest, and thus the least house edge.

3:32 AM - Al places 100 dollars on "second twelve" which pays 2-1. Amazingly, it hits, and he now has 300 dollars. I tell him to press it, meaning to place 300 on second twelve again (accounts conflict on me telling him to do this, but I maintain that I did). He doesn't do that, instead placing 12 twenty five dollar chips on some numbers on the board. Each individual number pays 35-1, meaning if he hits he gets 875. Putting him nearly even on the trip.

3:33 AM - Every chip Al put down missed, and oddly enough the number 23 came up, meaning if he played second twelve again, he would be at 900 and even for the trip. Instead he is down 1000 like a sucker. Me and Ben laugh.

3:45 AM - Bed time. Also mocking Fishman time.

Its been almost two years exactly.

I finally have a fast internet connection where I live.

Joy.

This weekend by the numbers:

2 - The number of nights I slept on a floor at the Kappa Delta sorority house at Delaware
9 - The rating Ben gave his first night at Delaware
negative 7 - The rating Ben gave his second night at Delaware
5 - The number of times Marti and Gabri beat me and Ben in beer pong
3 - The number of mysterious cuts I have on my face and left arm, cause undetermined
Approximately 9 - The number of times in the car ride to AC that me and Ben agreed that this girl Lauren was the hottest girl ever.
100 - The score that everyone failed to break during the historic annual golf matchup of me and Ben vs. his parents
2 - Number of times I swung and missed during our match
215 - Number of yards I had between myself and the hole on hole number six.
1 - Number of feet I had remaining to putt after an incredible 215 yard shot on the previously mentioned hole.
2 - The margin of victory for me and Ben, our first win over his parents
300 - The amount of dollars I lost at the Borgata
1000 - The amount of dollars Allister lost at the Borgata
3 - The number of times Pete called me at 12:30 AM demanding to go up to the room (I had the only key since Ben was missing) since he was out of money
2:30AM - The time when I finally let Pete go up to the room